Holy mother rucker!!!! We have 21 days until we perform. I am getting really freaking excited about this. I haven't missed a day of class and am going to miss my Wednesday nights with the girls. Luckily I made some awesome friends so I know I won't be missing out on those lovely girls on a regular basis. These last few months have been the time of my life and I am so happy that I decided to do this. Finding ones home is always the most exhilarating thing in the world.
So here I am 21 days away from graduating the intensive course and I am so happy. Excited to perform and fucking nervous all at the same time. Some of my beautiful friends are freaking out and getting scared, but you know what I know them and their concepts and performances are amazing. I will keep cheering them on until the day we all get on stage. Really I will cheer these bitches on forever as long as they will take me of course.
For me I can't wait to start getting on stages and performing in front of all of the great audiences that I have been so proud to be a part of for over a year. Let me tell you now that if you are one of the guys and dolls who only sit in the audience and come to every show supporting our community I want you to know I am grateful to everyone one of you cause we would be nothing without each and every one of you. Burlesque isn't very fun when you have no audience to cheer you on.
And I am now tits deep into helping make our community more like a big ass family who supports everyone.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Friday, June 28, 2013
Coming Out in Burlesque
So being a burlesque performer not everyone has friends and family who would be okay with our crazy antics. for me it was never about my friends not accepting it was more about my family. My friends are crazy and love me for me, though some of them may not be interested in seeing any shows I'm in. That's okay in book they still love me and I love them. Now family on the other hand is a whole other matter.
Family so far that I went running to telling them I was becoming a burlesque performer were my Hubs (of course), my mom, sister, step son, nephew, niece, and my cousin.
Family I was avoiding my dad (hell no he's LDS), my other siblings (which there are 3 more) my mother in-law (she's crazy), my sister in-law, and my father in-law (he's a bit old school).
Now I was avoiding all the other family members because either I'm going to hell or they are an annoyance to deal with and don't want to deal with it. Unfortunately lately I have been dealing with coming out about it if I like it or not due to a dumb Facebook message I posted months ago on my Mom page. So First came my oldest sister and her husband. I had to explain it in a way that they understood and my father didn't since they thought it would be a good time to discuss it in front of him. Luckily my Dad is an old fart who doesn't hear well and ignores half the crazy that comes out of my mouth. Than this past weekend I had to deal with my sister in-law. She is a sweet woman, but Hubs and I aren't close with her and we like to keep our life to our selves. So I had to explain it to her on the way to the airport and how I was doing in it. She still didn't seem to understand it, but at least it's out their and they are a few less people I have to come out to in the future.
They only person I want to tell that I am worried about telling is my brother. We are 18 years apart and he is one of my favorite people. He lives in a super small town and is all about being a grandpa who loves sports and is a mailman. He also happens to be my Yogi and I his Booboo. So as you can tell I fucking love my brother though we are very different people. I'm supposed to go see him in August and hopefully he just does his usual and tells me what a weirdo I am.
Family so far that I went running to telling them I was becoming a burlesque performer were my Hubs (of course), my mom, sister, step son, nephew, niece, and my cousin.
Family I was avoiding my dad (hell no he's LDS), my other siblings (which there are 3 more) my mother in-law (she's crazy), my sister in-law, and my father in-law (he's a bit old school).
Now I was avoiding all the other family members because either I'm going to hell or they are an annoyance to deal with and don't want to deal with it. Unfortunately lately I have been dealing with coming out about it if I like it or not due to a dumb Facebook message I posted months ago on my Mom page. So First came my oldest sister and her husband. I had to explain it in a way that they understood and my father didn't since they thought it would be a good time to discuss it in front of him. Luckily my Dad is an old fart who doesn't hear well and ignores half the crazy that comes out of my mouth. Than this past weekend I had to deal with my sister in-law. She is a sweet woman, but Hubs and I aren't close with her and we like to keep our life to our selves. So I had to explain it to her on the way to the airport and how I was doing in it. She still didn't seem to understand it, but at least it's out their and they are a few less people I have to come out to in the future.
They only person I want to tell that I am worried about telling is my brother. We are 18 years apart and he is one of my favorite people. He lives in a super small town and is all about being a grandpa who loves sports and is a mailman. He also happens to be my Yogi and I his Booboo. So as you can tell I fucking love my brother though we are very different people. I'm supposed to go see him in August and hopefully he just does his usual and tells me what a weirdo I am.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Shopping for supplies
Shopping for costumes parts is so much fun when either done in a group or just with one of your lovely stripper friends. I have spent time at the swapmeet in a group and spent a day with just one and it's never dull.
Last week Kiki and I went to Hobby Lobby. For those who may not know what Hobby Lobby is I will be happy to explain. So it is a store filled with random stuff for arts and crafts. All the way from home décor to making shit. Of course Kiki was warned I was bringing my clan with me. This included the little guy(who's always with me), the step son, nephew, and my mom. When we first showed up we ran into another local babe Banana Fosters. So this shows you that a place like this is our paradise.
Now Kiki also happens to be a professional dominatrix of sewing, I like this depiction for so many reason...it kind of makes me giggle reading it. Anyway, she is helping me make my costume fucking rock!!! Let me just say that after the first class when she said she was a seamstress professionally I was all up on that shit the next class. So far too I am the only one who took her seriously when she said she'd help with costumes. I can't sew for shit so I was not going to pass the opportunity up to have a sexy seamstress help me out.
So I brought the base of my costume and we started looking for the things we needed to make this plain jane outfit into something FABULOUS (don't deny you just sang it in your head). My little old mom walked around with us happy to just be out of her house and my little guy sat happily in his seat while my two older ones acted like teenagers. Now I am an easy going mom and love my kids being them selves, but I did have to go into mom mode for a split second and yell at my step son for trying to get into the cart like his little brother, boys are weird. Kiki was all surprised and I just laughed about the sudden tone change.
While going through the isles we start looking at things we can take apart and turn into costume parts. She is freaking great about this. There were things she was taking off the shelf that I wouldn't have even thought of to use for burlesque purposes. The best part is standing in the middle of an isle looking at pieces of sparkly material and putting it up to our boobs asking which one would look best as a pasty. Even my step son wanted to put his two sense in on the one he thought was the best.
In the end we left with everything to make the costume fucking amazing!!!! I can't wait to see it going through its glittery transformation. And I can't wait to help with it.
Last week Kiki and I went to Hobby Lobby. For those who may not know what Hobby Lobby is I will be happy to explain. So it is a store filled with random stuff for arts and crafts. All the way from home décor to making shit. Of course Kiki was warned I was bringing my clan with me. This included the little guy(who's always with me), the step son, nephew, and my mom. When we first showed up we ran into another local babe Banana Fosters. So this shows you that a place like this is our paradise.
Now Kiki also happens to be a professional dominatrix of sewing, I like this depiction for so many reason...it kind of makes me giggle reading it. Anyway, she is helping me make my costume fucking rock!!! Let me just say that after the first class when she said she was a seamstress professionally I was all up on that shit the next class. So far too I am the only one who took her seriously when she said she'd help with costumes. I can't sew for shit so I was not going to pass the opportunity up to have a sexy seamstress help me out.
So I brought the base of my costume and we started looking for the things we needed to make this plain jane outfit into something FABULOUS (don't deny you just sang it in your head). My little old mom walked around with us happy to just be out of her house and my little guy sat happily in his seat while my two older ones acted like teenagers. Now I am an easy going mom and love my kids being them selves, but I did have to go into mom mode for a split second and yell at my step son for trying to get into the cart like his little brother, boys are weird. Kiki was all surprised and I just laughed about the sudden tone change.
While going through the isles we start looking at things we can take apart and turn into costume parts. She is freaking great about this. There were things she was taking off the shelf that I wouldn't have even thought of to use for burlesque purposes. The best part is standing in the middle of an isle looking at pieces of sparkly material and putting it up to our boobs asking which one would look best as a pasty. Even my step son wanted to put his two sense in on the one he thought was the best.
In the end we left with everything to make the costume fucking amazing!!!! I can't wait to see it going through its glittery transformation. And I can't wait to help with it.
Friday, June 21, 2013
First time in front of the gang
So I thought, three weeks ago, we were going to start standing in front of our group and attempt to perform our choreography. If we didn't have choreography we needed to stand for the duration of our song. I know this sounds harsh, but I understand why. Doesn't mean I liked the idea though.
Now on the way to class three weeks ago I was freaking the FUCK OUT. To the point of almost making myself sick. Luckily for me we did make up instead.
Since we didn't do it then guess what we had to do two weeks ago? That's right we had to do our choreography!!!!
Let me just say that I worked myself up so much, again, on the way to the studio that I almost threw up. Not a good sign for a used to be stage performer. I was so freaking nervous that my heart was pounding so hard I thought anyone could hear it. Standing in front of an audience is one thing, but your peers are completely different. I hate showing anything to peers, because when dancing as a kid it was brutal. I will admit I am a big baby about my performances due to my childhood in dance, I know.
So the time came when we were all sitting in our chairs and Cha Cha asked who wanted to go first. Have I mentioned that I hate going first, second, third, or fourth? Luckily I didn't get singled out to go first Kiki kindly volunteered to do that, which means I owe her big time. Right after her though Cha Cha thought it would be good for this chick to get up and do her thing. My heart hit my throat and I got up in the base of my costume too.
Let me say that once my music came on and I started I felt damn good. It isn't finished and I am working on it now still, but it worked the way I wanted it too. I was so freaking excited after I was finished. I told Cha Cha a few eeks before that I was afraid she was going to say something and I would just break down in tears. I can happily say there were no tears. Cha Cha, Miss Karla Joy, and Veronica Derriere were very nice to me and gave great suggestions. Thank goodness, because I would have thrown up all over the floor or turned into a little girl running away crying. I was able to walk back to my chair like a grown up girl, Yay.
This week I plan on going shopping some more in order to start getting the other parts put together. Lots of sparkles people!!!
Now on the way to class three weeks ago I was freaking the FUCK OUT. To the point of almost making myself sick. Luckily for me we did make up instead.
Since we didn't do it then guess what we had to do two weeks ago? That's right we had to do our choreography!!!!
Let me just say that I worked myself up so much, again, on the way to the studio that I almost threw up. Not a good sign for a used to be stage performer. I was so freaking nervous that my heart was pounding so hard I thought anyone could hear it. Standing in front of an audience is one thing, but your peers are completely different. I hate showing anything to peers, because when dancing as a kid it was brutal. I will admit I am a big baby about my performances due to my childhood in dance, I know.
So the time came when we were all sitting in our chairs and Cha Cha asked who wanted to go first. Have I mentioned that I hate going first, second, third, or fourth? Luckily I didn't get singled out to go first Kiki kindly volunteered to do that, which means I owe her big time. Right after her though Cha Cha thought it would be good for this chick to get up and do her thing. My heart hit my throat and I got up in the base of my costume too.
Let me say that once my music came on and I started I felt damn good. It isn't finished and I am working on it now still, but it worked the way I wanted it too. I was so freaking excited after I was finished. I told Cha Cha a few eeks before that I was afraid she was going to say something and I would just break down in tears. I can happily say there were no tears. Cha Cha, Miss Karla Joy, and Veronica Derriere were very nice to me and gave great suggestions. Thank goodness, because I would have thrown up all over the floor or turned into a little girl running away crying. I was able to walk back to my chair like a grown up girl, Yay.
This week I plan on going shopping some more in order to start getting the other parts put together. Lots of sparkles people!!!
Loving and caring community
First let me apologize life has gone crazy for me so my posts will be sporadic right now. But I never forget and love writing on this blog so I won't just leave it hanging out to never be posted on again, promise.
So recently I have been able to see the amazing gathering of sparkly hearts to take care of one another. We say we are a community and really we are a family and I am slowly learning that. I'm being given the chance to know these girls more and more every week and see their efforts through Facebook as well. We have a group page that is closed to those who are part of the community only so we don't get spammers. It helps with shows who need people, keeping in touch, and learning from each other (I think). So it wasn't a big deal when one of the lovely ladies posted about one of the girls that hadn't been heard from in a while and within one day and lots of posts everyone was working to find her and make sure she was okay. Luckily she was fine she had just been working her ass off so she wasn't as social as she usually is. I was reading those posts like a stalker hoping she was okay and posted once hoping she was well. I don't know her yet, but have seen her at a couple of shows before so naturally I too was worried. Thank goodness she's fine!!
We did it again when several of us were getting friend requested by some guy who seemed to be fine for a little bit. It isn't unheard of to get friend requested by people you don't know. I have a few and they are either polite in posts or don't say anything at all so I don't mind the quiet creepers who want to say they know burlesque dancers in Vegas. This guy though was saying how he was a lingerie designer and how he wanted to design something for us. The next question was to send him a boob pic though. Now just because we are burlesque performers doesn't mean we just show our tits off to random weirdos. We respect ourselves more then most I think and for a person to have the balls to ask that of any of us is an ass hat. So one of the girls posted again in our group page looking out for all the burly babes and warning everyone what he was doing. Most of us so far have deleted this butthead (yes I said butthead) so he can't harass us anymore.
Now for me personally I have recently felt this when my hubs severed his Achilles tendon last Saturday while fencing. I posted about it briefly on my Facebook account and got immediate responses from several girls who know me and my hubs telling me to give them a shout if we needed anything. That's a great feeling and they know I would do the same for them. Even a local comedian we all know in the community even messaged me asking me how he was doing. These people are super freaking sweet and I am so lucky to have them in my life now.
You would think that since we are all in Las Vegas that the community in burlesque should be a large one, but it is actually a small one and we keep a close eye out for our safety. It's an amazing thing to see and it's super awesome to see it growing.
So recently I have been able to see the amazing gathering of sparkly hearts to take care of one another. We say we are a community and really we are a family and I am slowly learning that. I'm being given the chance to know these girls more and more every week and see their efforts through Facebook as well. We have a group page that is closed to those who are part of the community only so we don't get spammers. It helps with shows who need people, keeping in touch, and learning from each other (I think). So it wasn't a big deal when one of the lovely ladies posted about one of the girls that hadn't been heard from in a while and within one day and lots of posts everyone was working to find her and make sure she was okay. Luckily she was fine she had just been working her ass off so she wasn't as social as she usually is. I was reading those posts like a stalker hoping she was okay and posted once hoping she was well. I don't know her yet, but have seen her at a couple of shows before so naturally I too was worried. Thank goodness she's fine!!
We did it again when several of us were getting friend requested by some guy who seemed to be fine for a little bit. It isn't unheard of to get friend requested by people you don't know. I have a few and they are either polite in posts or don't say anything at all so I don't mind the quiet creepers who want to say they know burlesque dancers in Vegas. This guy though was saying how he was a lingerie designer and how he wanted to design something for us. The next question was to send him a boob pic though. Now just because we are burlesque performers doesn't mean we just show our tits off to random weirdos. We respect ourselves more then most I think and for a person to have the balls to ask that of any of us is an ass hat. So one of the girls posted again in our group page looking out for all the burly babes and warning everyone what he was doing. Most of us so far have deleted this butthead (yes I said butthead) so he can't harass us anymore.
Now for me personally I have recently felt this when my hubs severed his Achilles tendon last Saturday while fencing. I posted about it briefly on my Facebook account and got immediate responses from several girls who know me and my hubs telling me to give them a shout if we needed anything. That's a great feeling and they know I would do the same for them. Even a local comedian we all know in the community even messaged me asking me how he was doing. These people are super freaking sweet and I am so lucky to have them in my life now.
You would think that since we are all in Las Vegas that the community in burlesque should be a large one, but it is actually a small one and we keep a close eye out for our safety. It's an amazing thing to see and it's super awesome to see it growing.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
My birthday!!!!
So for my birthday this year I spent it at the grindhouse show. I love their shows and the performers they have are people I am lucky to say I know. This was also the first time a lot of my nerdy friends were able to see a performance for the first time. Let me just say that there were several of them that looked uncomfortable with the whole thing. And though they all support me and love me I know now which ones would not be okay watching me take my clothes off. And in the end that's totally okay cause I still love them for loving my crazy ass. Not everyone can appreciate burlesque for what it is. It just means that most of the time my friends will be hard to mix.
For some of my friends it would be like this. Nerds at the bottom and really the cosplayers are all the sexy ass bitches I know who take their clothes off. Just think of them glittered up and bedazzeled. Now that I see this I need to do this as a real photo one day. It would be pretty damn awesome.
Anyway, watching the grindhouse girls rock their shit on stage was amazing as usual and they are at a new venue. They will be at the showroom inside the Plaza Hotel in downtown Las Vegas. It was a huge place and it felt great to be in, very old Vegas. I also had the opportunity to see a local performer do a tribute piece to Sparkly Devil. She looked great on stage as usual too. I love going to all of these shows they are too fun and I have the greatest support my hubby who is at every show and is becoming known by the community. Always a great time!!!!!
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
My main inspiration
I think when it comes to a specific performer who inspires me I have finally found that one who does. She has been at the top of my list for a while, but it's hard to choose one when there are so many amazing people out there I can't help but adore.
This lovely vixen is non other then Dirty Martini. I feel she is the one who makes me feel like I can do this. She is amazingly beautiful and isn't a person who weighs under 130, I am not size shaming at all it's just hard to feel connected when we don't look similar. She rocks the stage and even has the guts to wear a merkin!!!! I finally got to see her perform live during BHOF 2013 and was at the edge of my seat, all smiles, and in love. My hubs kept looking at me and chuckling, because I went wild screaming and clapping during her whole performance.
I have struggled with my size and shape pretty much my whole life. Being a girl who grew up in a dance studio where all the other girls were these tiny little things and I was considered the fat kid and then being an adult who couldn't get over those issues really put a damper on things for me. I just recently started feeling good about me again and then I saw her and loved everything she did, how great she looked on stage, and how much she loved her self.
How can you not be inspired by a woman who owns it and rocks it like a champ. She makes me realize I can too. I was going to wear a corset in order to cover my midsection and because of watching her over and over I feel good about me enough not to. She just makes me so happy when seeing her perform and I am hoping I can do the same as well.
This lovely vixen is non other then Dirty Martini. I feel she is the one who makes me feel like I can do this. She is amazingly beautiful and isn't a person who weighs under 130, I am not size shaming at all it's just hard to feel connected when we don't look similar. She rocks the stage and even has the guts to wear a merkin!!!! I finally got to see her perform live during BHOF 2013 and was at the edge of my seat, all smiles, and in love. My hubs kept looking at me and chuckling, because I went wild screaming and clapping during her whole performance.
I have struggled with my size and shape pretty much my whole life. Being a girl who grew up in a dance studio where all the other girls were these tiny little things and I was considered the fat kid and then being an adult who couldn't get over those issues really put a damper on things for me. I just recently started feeling good about me again and then I saw her and loved everything she did, how great she looked on stage, and how much she loved her self.
How can you not be inspired by a woman who owns it and rocks it like a champ. She makes me realize I can too. I was going to wear a corset in order to cover my midsection and because of watching her over and over I feel good about me enough not to. She just makes me so happy when seeing her perform and I am hoping I can do the same as well.
Photo taken by Banana Fosters BHOF 2013
Just look at her isn't she the most fantastic thing you have ever seen?? I know another Vegas performer who is in love with her and feels she can't talk to her. I kinda feel the same and honestly I would probably stutter a lot if she ever spoke to me or in my general direction.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Student Showcase!!!!!!
What is the fabulous you see!?!?!?
That's right it is the flyer for the very first show I am going to be in. It really hit home yesterday when I saw this while at peer review. No backing out now or chickening out we are who we are and we have to rock it hardcore. I'm excited and feel like I can do this thing and feel great about it. I guess I just needed to see the official flyer to feel 100% about me and the fabulous girl I am becoming.
Who wants to look like a drag queen? I do!!!
Make up!!!!!
Who said looking like a drag queen for stage was a bad idea? Cause if they did they were dead wrong. Drag make up is amazing. This is the whole reason why I need an actual drag queen as a friend so they can give me all the greatest tips and tricks for make up....well that and they are freaking fabulous.
I was saved during class from having to stand in front of everyone with my song playing last week, but it doesn't save me this week. Last week was all about make up and it's application for the stage. Cha Cha has this shit down!!! She showed us different ways to apply it and how to add glitter in a way that won't fall off while performing too. we also talked about where to get crazy colors from to use and cheap eye lashes.
Eye lashes are not my friend. She gave everyone a lash kit to practice putting them on and I sucked at it big time. I had one of the girls, Deviant Dahlia, helping me and I still sucked at it. This just means I get to practice, practice, practice. I also really need to start practicing putting on all this make up. But first I need to gather it all and build my arsenal of drag colors and layers.
I started the gathering on Friday with five other girls from class. I took both my sons on this adventure. My youngest has no issue throw some popcorn his way and he is good. As for the 14 yr old step son I wasn't sure how much fun he would have, but surround a young guy with a ton of pretty girls and you are all good. He kept telling his cousin how he got to spend the day with hot burlesque dancers....let's just say my nephew wasn't happy he missed out. Anyway, we spent the time we were all together at the indoor swap meet here in Vegas wondering around and a good portion of it at a place called Dubery's filling our baskets with cheap ass make up that came in bright colors. We were like a bunch of kids in a candy store picking all the colors we could. Over all I had a freaking blast hanging with the girls. I have to say it's a little weird hanging with girls cause I'm not used to it, but I am loving every minute of it.
Who said looking like a drag queen for stage was a bad idea? Cause if they did they were dead wrong. Drag make up is amazing. This is the whole reason why I need an actual drag queen as a friend so they can give me all the greatest tips and tricks for make up....well that and they are freaking fabulous.
I was saved during class from having to stand in front of everyone with my song playing last week, but it doesn't save me this week. Last week was all about make up and it's application for the stage. Cha Cha has this shit down!!! She showed us different ways to apply it and how to add glitter in a way that won't fall off while performing too. we also talked about where to get crazy colors from to use and cheap eye lashes.
Eye lashes are not my friend. She gave everyone a lash kit to practice putting them on and I sucked at it big time. I had one of the girls, Deviant Dahlia, helping me and I still sucked at it. This just means I get to practice, practice, practice. I also really need to start practicing putting on all this make up. But first I need to gather it all and build my arsenal of drag colors and layers.
I started the gathering on Friday with five other girls from class. I took both my sons on this adventure. My youngest has no issue throw some popcorn his way and he is good. As for the 14 yr old step son I wasn't sure how much fun he would have, but surround a young guy with a ton of pretty girls and you are all good. He kept telling his cousin how he got to spend the day with hot burlesque dancers....let's just say my nephew wasn't happy he missed out. Anyway, we spent the time we were all together at the indoor swap meet here in Vegas wondering around and a good portion of it at a place called Dubery's filling our baskets with cheap ass make up that came in bright colors. We were like a bunch of kids in a candy store picking all the colors we could. Over all I had a freaking blast hanging with the girls. I have to say it's a little weird hanging with girls cause I'm not used to it, but I am loving every minute of it.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
The art of writing...I know I kinda suck at it right now.
Dear Readers and Followers,
I just want to say I am so sorry for all of my missed capitalization's and punctuation and the few misspelt words. I am sure for all of you who have an editor's mind for writing are cursing me every time you read my blog right now.
I started out on a mobile device that did most of the work for me and switched to using my actual PC. So now that I have seen the hundreds of mistakes I have made since starting this blog I will from now on start re-reading every post numerous times before posting it to make sure that I am not a complete idiot with my writing. Doesn't mean that the occasional mistake won't make it through.
Again sorry for all of the mistakes I'm a noob and trying hard to get better. Yes I just used noob, it's a nerd thing promise.
Glittery Kisses,
Chastity Badcock
I just want to say I am so sorry for all of my missed capitalization's and punctuation and the few misspelt words. I am sure for all of you who have an editor's mind for writing are cursing me every time you read my blog right now.
I started out on a mobile device that did most of the work for me and switched to using my actual PC. So now that I have seen the hundreds of mistakes I have made since starting this blog I will from now on start re-reading every post numerous times before posting it to make sure that I am not a complete idiot with my writing. Doesn't mean that the occasional mistake won't make it through.
Again sorry for all of the mistakes I'm a noob and trying hard to get better. Yes I just used noob, it's a nerd thing promise.
Glittery Kisses,
Chastity Badcock
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Oh Holy Shit!!!!
Can I just spend a minute telling everyone that shit is getting real. Everyone who knows we have to start playing our music weekly and standing in front of the whole class is starting to freak out a bit. Most of us started this venture trying to get over our personal body issues, anxieties, all that self hate shit that goes on in our heads. It is time to start facing those fears and it sucks!!!
The cheerleader that I am keeps telling everyone that they will be great and we will get through this together. And I'm not lying about it either. The thing is I am scared out of my wits about getting up in front of everyone this Wednesday. My personal reasoning is the critical eyes that will be one me while I do my thing. Some of the girls have these professional backgrounds in performance. And of course I don't want to let down the one who is making all this possible for us, our own teacher. She kind of scares me the most. It's like being a puppy seeking approval from your human. I want to learn all the commands and do things well so she smiles with true approval and not just trying to be nice. AHHHHHH!!!! This shit is hard ladies and gents.
Luckily I am not the only one freaking out about all this right now. I just need to start telling myself it's gonna be okay. Right now it doesn't feel okay at all. I just think my whole choreography is gonna suck and everyone is going to tell me that I need to change most of it. I like my song and I feel for my first dance and not being in dance for years that I am not too shabby, but when there is another dancer in the room who is probably twenty times better then you ever were kills me every time I think about it. When dancing as a teenager I hated doing solos just because I felt like everyone seeing me dance thought I sucked due to me thinking they were all better then me.
How to get over the little voices in my head is fucking hard.
On another note that is good. I broke my new shoes in last night in class and I am so happy with them.
Wish me luck people cause I face the fire starting this Wednesday.
The cheerleader that I am keeps telling everyone that they will be great and we will get through this together. And I'm not lying about it either. The thing is I am scared out of my wits about getting up in front of everyone this Wednesday. My personal reasoning is the critical eyes that will be one me while I do my thing. Some of the girls have these professional backgrounds in performance. And of course I don't want to let down the one who is making all this possible for us, our own teacher. She kind of scares me the most. It's like being a puppy seeking approval from your human. I want to learn all the commands and do things well so she smiles with true approval and not just trying to be nice. AHHHHHH!!!! This shit is hard ladies and gents.
Luckily I am not the only one freaking out about all this right now. I just need to start telling myself it's gonna be okay. Right now it doesn't feel okay at all. I just think my whole choreography is gonna suck and everyone is going to tell me that I need to change most of it. I like my song and I feel for my first dance and not being in dance for years that I am not too shabby, but when there is another dancer in the room who is probably twenty times better then you ever were kills me every time I think about it. When dancing as a teenager I hated doing solos just because I felt like everyone seeing me dance thought I sucked due to me thinking they were all better then me.
How to get over the little voices in my head is fucking hard.
On another note that is good. I broke my new shoes in last night in class and I am so happy with them.
Wish me luck people cause I face the fire starting this Wednesday.
Monday, June 3, 2013
The Course
I keep forgetting to write about the course. So we have had five classes so far out of the total 12 that we have. Seriously we only have twelve classes???? Why has this not sunk in till now. Shit!!!! I have so much to do still damn it. Thank goodness I am shopping this weekend for my costume. Choreography is almost done, but I have done nothing for my outfit yet accept talk about the damn thing.
To talk about the awesome that is my class for now. So the last five weeks have been an overload of information and homework. We even got one night with Miss Karla Joy teaching us a shit ton of movement. Cha Cha has it where we all have weekly homework and the only thing I am not up to par on is going to the museum. I will get to that before class is over though. Any hooser, We have talked a lot about concepts and following through with what we want to do and not doing things half ass. We have gone over costume basics, music, and a shit ton of other things as well. I love listening to the girls talk and seeing how comfortable we are all getting with each other.
The personalities of the group are so much fun. I have seen several of the girls at different shows over the last month and it has been so much fun. I'm starting to form personal relationships with these girls now...well several of the lovely ladies. We are helping each other in ways most of us need right now.
The one big thing that scares me though is starting next week we need to start doing this coming Wednesday is playing our music all the way through while either moving through it, standing, or dancing to it while the rest of the girls watch. SHIT!!!!! Really I have to start putting myself on display??? This scares the shit out of me cause people are judgmental and there are a few girls there that make me feel like the fat kid in dance. I have to remember though I have girls there that support me 100% melons and Lottie I know will help cheer me on just like I will them....and I think now Kiki and Chantana too. I'm not gonna lie that shit scares the crap out of me big time. I know I'll get used to it but for this second I might crap my pants.
To talk about the awesome that is my class for now. So the last five weeks have been an overload of information and homework. We even got one night with Miss Karla Joy teaching us a shit ton of movement. Cha Cha has it where we all have weekly homework and the only thing I am not up to par on is going to the museum. I will get to that before class is over though. Any hooser, We have talked a lot about concepts and following through with what we want to do and not doing things half ass. We have gone over costume basics, music, and a shit ton of other things as well. I love listening to the girls talk and seeing how comfortable we are all getting with each other.
The personalities of the group are so much fun. I have seen several of the girls at different shows over the last month and it has been so much fun. I'm starting to form personal relationships with these girls now...well several of the lovely ladies. We are helping each other in ways most of us need right now.
The one big thing that scares me though is starting next week we need to start doing this coming Wednesday is playing our music all the way through while either moving through it, standing, or dancing to it while the rest of the girls watch. SHIT!!!!! Really I have to start putting myself on display??? This scares the shit out of me cause people are judgmental and there are a few girls there that make me feel like the fat kid in dance. I have to remember though I have girls there that support me 100% melons and Lottie I know will help cheer me on just like I will them....and I think now Kiki and Chantana too. I'm not gonna lie that shit scares the crap out of me big time. I know I'll get used to it but for this second I might crap my pants.
Icons and All Starts at BHOF!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG was my mind blown last night!!!!!!!
I cried twice during the show and those women and men up there were fantastic. And thanks to Ophellia Pearl I looked great that night, she was kind enough to let me borrow a dress.
The list of those who graced the stage were
Hosts were Foxy Tan and Kingfish
Performers were
Camille 2000
Shannon Doah
Catherine D'lish
Dirty Martini
Hot Toddy
Indigo Blue
Jo Boobs Weldon
Kitten Deville
Michelle L'amour
Perle Noire
Roxi D'lite
and The Stage Door Johnnies
Oh and super hush hush guest was none other then Dita Von Tesse!!!!!
Holy Mother Goddess I got to see all the performers I have been drooling over all in one night. To see Dirty Martini rock the stage like the sex pot she is was a dream come true. These performers were so fucking amazing that all I could do was clap, scream, and sit there like a teenager at a Justin Beiber concert.
Now as for the tears the first set filled my eyes when Jo Boobs Weldon came onto the stage and did her performance as a tribute to Sparkly Devil. I never knew her, but the amount of thought and love that went into that number was breath taking. She did her own dance while calling many little devils to the stage through out her performance. The community support that I saw happen was amazing. I'm still a bit lost for words today about it all.
The second set came when Dita walked on stage. She was so sweet and absolutely beautiful. She came to give the Sassy Lassy award to her friend Catherine D'lish. No one knew she was coming to hand the award to her. Not even Catherine so of course when she finally came on stage she was all teary eyed about it. Dita has never graced BHOF with her presence until last night and I was lucky enough to be there.
Roxi d'Lite did a number with a some metal ring work as well. Can I just say I have been waiting my whole life for someone to do that combo and she fucking rocked it!!!!!
Oh have I mentioned that I walked into the theatre right behind World Famous Bob and was too chicken to tell her I loved her?? Well I did and it was sad but great all at the same time.
Seriously I could go on and on and on about this but why don't I show you a couple of pics instead. I wish I sat there taking pictures of all the beautiful people in the audience because I felt under dressed and apparently it was a dress down night for the audience according to a Kiki.
I cried twice during the show and those women and men up there were fantastic. And thanks to Ophellia Pearl I looked great that night, she was kind enough to let me borrow a dress.
The list of those who graced the stage were
Hosts were Foxy Tan and Kingfish
Performers were
Camille 2000
Shannon Doah
Catherine D'lish
Dirty Martini
Hot Toddy
Indigo Blue
Jo Boobs Weldon
Kitten Deville
Michelle L'amour
Perle Noire
Roxi D'lite
and The Stage Door Johnnies
Oh and super hush hush guest was none other then Dita Von Tesse!!!!!
Holy Mother Goddess I got to see all the performers I have been drooling over all in one night. To see Dirty Martini rock the stage like the sex pot she is was a dream come true. These performers were so fucking amazing that all I could do was clap, scream, and sit there like a teenager at a Justin Beiber concert.
Now as for the tears the first set filled my eyes when Jo Boobs Weldon came onto the stage and did her performance as a tribute to Sparkly Devil. I never knew her, but the amount of thought and love that went into that number was breath taking. She did her own dance while calling many little devils to the stage through out her performance. The community support that I saw happen was amazing. I'm still a bit lost for words today about it all.
The second set came when Dita walked on stage. She was so sweet and absolutely beautiful. She came to give the Sassy Lassy award to her friend Catherine D'lish. No one knew she was coming to hand the award to her. Not even Catherine so of course when she finally came on stage she was all teary eyed about it. Dita has never graced BHOF with her presence until last night and I was lucky enough to be there.
Roxi d'Lite did a number with a some metal ring work as well. Can I just say I have been waiting my whole life for someone to do that combo and she fucking rocked it!!!!!
Oh have I mentioned that I walked into the theatre right behind World Famous Bob and was too chicken to tell her I loved her?? Well I did and it was sad but great all at the same time.
Seriously I could go on and on and on about this but why don't I show you a couple of pics instead. I wish I sat there taking pictures of all the beautiful people in the audience because I felt under dressed and apparently it was a dress down night for the audience according to a Kiki.
Could it be finally a pic of my face!!!! I have to say I don't look to bad...actually kind of sexy if I don't say so myself.
Two sexy girls from my class Chantana and Kiki. Man I love our drag names! And we are some sexy bitches aren't we? Shhh..don't lie you know you agree.
Dita!!!!
Thanks to my girl Chantana she got these two photos so I could prove to the world she was really there.
This was the absolute best birthday present a girl could ask for!!!!!!!!!!
Thankful to my Hubba Bubba
I have tot take the time and talk about my hubs for a min.
After last night's show, which I will posting about in a bit, I wanted the world to know what a great husband I have. To many he is known as Big Bad so we will refer to him here the same. I have known this man since I was nineteen and he was the one man I could count on since I was twenty-one. He is truly my best friend. He is this guy who never sought to try and make me someone else, but allowed me to be me the minute we were together. Now he was only my friend for most of our life together and only became my main squeeze four years ago, so pardon the unknown references I may make through out my posts.
Last night we both enjoyed a performance that blew our minds in the best way possible. And after the show we both thought the same thing, To thank each other for this new gift we have found. Why he thought he needed to thank me I don't know, because he is the one who needs a thousand thanks from me daily. This guy spent most of his life in the military and he ended up now with a wife who is crazy in a good way. If you saw him most of the time you wouldn't see a guy who loves burlesque, thinks his wife with bright hair and tattoos is sexy, and has his own wild side. It's there and I am the daily proof that he is more then wild from time to time.
Over the last year we finally made it in our life where I didn't have to work. Now this doesn't mean we have endless amounts of money, but enough for me to be there for our son. This also allowed me the opportunity to tattoo myself more visibly and start dying my hair once again crazy colors. This guy just looks at me smiles, tells me he loves me, and to go for it if it makes me happy. Honestly how I ended up so lucky after the first guy I was with turned out to be a serious bad match for me I have no idea.
Over the last month he has gone to four different shows with me though he has to work the next morning or right after a show. He screams and hollers just as loud as I do now. He supports me and even is willing to wear a shirt that says he belongs to me too. He has even thought of doing a number himself, but his job would go crazy if he did so he just gets to watch me instead. This is huge since he tends to fall apart when he has had little sleep. He is even getting to know who some of the people are that I love watching or those I actually know now.
This guy makes my life so worth living it to its fullest everyday and I am incredibly grateful to him. He busts his ass off in order for me to start taking my clothes off and we couldn't be happier living this way. We are two odd birds together making sweet music.
After last night's show, which I will posting about in a bit, I wanted the world to know what a great husband I have. To many he is known as Big Bad so we will refer to him here the same. I have known this man since I was nineteen and he was the one man I could count on since I was twenty-one. He is truly my best friend. He is this guy who never sought to try and make me someone else, but allowed me to be me the minute we were together. Now he was only my friend for most of our life together and only became my main squeeze four years ago, so pardon the unknown references I may make through out my posts.
Last night we both enjoyed a performance that blew our minds in the best way possible. And after the show we both thought the same thing, To thank each other for this new gift we have found. Why he thought he needed to thank me I don't know, because he is the one who needs a thousand thanks from me daily. This guy spent most of his life in the military and he ended up now with a wife who is crazy in a good way. If you saw him most of the time you wouldn't see a guy who loves burlesque, thinks his wife with bright hair and tattoos is sexy, and has his own wild side. It's there and I am the daily proof that he is more then wild from time to time.
Over the last year we finally made it in our life where I didn't have to work. Now this doesn't mean we have endless amounts of money, but enough for me to be there for our son. This also allowed me the opportunity to tattoo myself more visibly and start dying my hair once again crazy colors. This guy just looks at me smiles, tells me he loves me, and to go for it if it makes me happy. Honestly how I ended up so lucky after the first guy I was with turned out to be a serious bad match for me I have no idea.
Over the last month he has gone to four different shows with me though he has to work the next morning or right after a show. He screams and hollers just as loud as I do now. He supports me and even is willing to wear a shirt that says he belongs to me too. He has even thought of doing a number himself, but his job would go crazy if he did so he just gets to watch me instead. This is huge since he tends to fall apart when he has had little sleep. He is even getting to know who some of the people are that I love watching or those I actually know now.
This guy makes my life so worth living it to its fullest everyday and I am incredibly grateful to him. He busts his ass off in order for me to start taking my clothes off and we couldn't be happier living this way. We are two odd birds together making sweet music.
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