Hurricane

So this was a post that I had written months ago and then forgot about between my constant chaos of muggle life and emotions. I would also like to say thank you to everyone who reached out to me during my time of sadness as long as it was. Also a huge motorboat to everyone over the last couple of months for telling me you missed me and my crazy antics. I really needed to be reminded that I do have a glitter tribe and that you guys make a difference in my life too. So for all who didn't really know what happened here it is in all its chaotic glory.

I realize it has been months since I have said a word on here. And in all honesty my life blew up. For a while it was a great explosion of choreography, hanging with glittery peeps so I didn't have time to sit and type. As of the last three months though it has been stressful and heart breaking.

This was the year of education but it needed to come to a screeching hault when. My father in-law passed away. He passed on September 18th, 2014. He was one of my favorite people. He was kind, loving, a proud papa, and was my constant reminder of what life was like in the 50s and 60s. His mentality never changed over the decades and neither did most of his habits. He was a healthy 72 year old man who had a massive heart attack in his home in Canada. I spent many days crying and grieving with my husband while trying to get passports, flights, and constantly speaking with grieving family members to arrange our time to fly out and say our final good byes. I ended up missing out on Burlycon but don't regret seeing my family and visiting where my husbands family has lived most of their lives. I also dropped quickly from the sight of my local community in order to handle my shit and focus.

Once again my community surprises me. I received many texts, messages, and comments making sure I was okay and just simply checking in. In a way it shouldn't surprise me but I have grown up never depending on more then a handful of people, because everyone else just made things worse. Being part of a group where they actually care made things a little easier for me to handle through my daily break downs.

After coming home form Canada though my car took a giant shit and fell apart, and we needed to move my old people in with us. So daily panic attacks began while packing, trying not to die from dust inhilation or killing my personal family members. Because of this half I missed out on the Las Vegas Burlesque Festival and had to drop off as a team member for that time as well :-(  personally I couldn't even think about my glittery life while my muggle life was being flipped upside down. I just reminded myself what my mentor has always told me "Burlesque is a hobby and should be for fun." Though we all know it's more then just a hobby it is a good reminder that it is okay to take a break when needed in order to handle your own life. It kept me from feeling guilty for being so quiet at the time.

So I have missed my own cities festival, couldn't go to a dear friends wedding, or perform in my first out of state festival either. Right now I feel like after three months I have missed out on an entire years worth of glitter life. I'm still not a hundred percent feeling normal, but I am slowly creeping back into my glitter life by making time to see a few of the people I love, refocusing on my health, and putting my self back I together again. Before long I will be back in a smokey bar screaming my ass off and soon after performing again.

There wasn't much of a burly point to this but I figured an explanation maybe necessary and this was easier then explaining over and over again.

BHOF Cherry Poppin

So it has been almost a month since BHOF and I am still missing the glittertastic group of people I was able to be around for several days. Now in 2013 I was able to attend one night and it was the last night of shows, All Stars and Icons, but this year I was able to attend every fucking thing for the weekend. Let me just put up a schedule here of what happens.

FYI there are going to be a damn lot of exclamation points!!!!!!!! 

4 nights of shows
4 after parties
bowling event
pool party
educational classes
shimmy shuttle to museum
vendor hall

This isn't really in any order, but I'm sure you all can see it is a weekend of awesomeness. Each night was something different when it came to shows and each night I was mesmerized it was hard not to be excited over everything. It's been a month and the numbers that still hold a special spot in my memory are from Rubenesque burlesque from the first night, Holiday O'Hara from the second night along with Fannie Annie and Grabrielle Maze on night two, Midnight Martini, Ruby Revue, Eddie Van Glam, Kitten n Lou, Jeez Louez, Aurora Galore,  and in all honesty it's hard to just pick a few from the competition because I was constantly in awe. And on the last night OH MY GOD the last night we had Perle Noire and Trixie Little and Evil Hate Monkey, Tigger, and Foxy Tann ant the Wham Bam Thank you ma'ams. Seriously I was on performance high the whole weekend and it was a huge boost to the creative part of my brain.

And if anyone has ever told you that the performers who have made a name for their selves are nice they weren't kidding!!!!! I get super nervous and I started freaking out to a point where I don't know if I should talk to them, but luckily I had one of my girls May Blush as my side kick pushing me to talk to those I adored. I spoke with several legends, who all by the way are the sweetest ladies I have ever met. Tony Eling called me risqué and she sounds so damn adorable when saying it!!! Holiday O'hara about made me cry and Fannie Annie made me laugh with all her sass. As for performers there weren't many that I went out seeking accept Trixie and Monkey and can I just say I was so happy and nervous that I am sure each time I spoke to them I sounded like an idiot, but the best part about them is that my friend Anita Brassiere had them sign shot glasses for me during their tech rehearsal (I swoon over her always my Anita).Trixie was so excited and full of life when we spoke briefly and I even said I have a number that is a mixture of them. Monkey is actually quiet off stage, can I just say I love when they are the opposite of what their act is, and he was super sweet too. Jeez Louez was super awesome and she is so tiny. You know I forget that we are human sometimes because if you saw her perform she is bigger than life on stage. JL also just happened to be a performer a friend adored so I made sure to tell her I knew who she was because of Melons Collie. The other duo I am in love with due to Melons are the fabulous Kitten n Lou. They had the most amazing outfits the entire weekend. And they were gracious enough to take pictures with me each freaking time too!!!! I adore them and wish I lived any where remotely close to them because I would love mentorship from them any day. I even told them I was available to adopt and I would be their poodle( It's a World famous Bob comment).The last major performer I had the guts to talk to was Perle Noire. Oh my sweet baby jeebus this woman is a force of amazing, humble, sweet, and power all rolled into one. I only spoke with her for a very brief moment but she is the most amazing woman to watch on stage, she owned that shit while up there and to me she was like an entire Broadway production in a single body. I can feel myself freaking out inside about all these people all over again as I write and it feels great!!!!

So as for the weekend I had bought a ticket for classes and the shimmy shuttle, but to be honest I cuddled with my local family a lot that weekend. I had been "out" of the scene for a few months and had been missing everyone terrbly. So instead I curled up in beds, got smothered by boobs, smacked a few asses, and just talked. I never just talk with many of the local fambam. we are always in a performance environment so I have many people I love that I have not had the chance to get to know on a personal level. That changed a bit over this weekend and I am so damn grateful for it. My money still went to a good cause ( well my hubs money ;) love you baby with all my heart) and that is what really matters, though I could have learned a lot. As you can see I am still a bit torn about it. Over all it was a great weekend knowing my Vegas family a little better.

The after parties!!!!!! These were so much fun. It's kinda like going to a gay bar and dancing your heart out. I was surrounded by so many people I didn't know and we loved dancing and being goofy with each other. I didn't feel like I was being judged and I even came home with many boob pictures on my phone each night from my Vegas peeps. I drank and didn't feel the need to be trashed, though trashed is okay too. I met people I can't remember (sorry) and left with a few I never want to forget. Those nights were great and I feel so lucky to have had them.

Before I forget can I please take a moment to talk about Ray Gunn's butt?!?! He is so damn adorable and when I saw him walking through the casino I wasn't exactly sure if it was him or not I was talking about how I wanted to touch his butt. Then later that night when I was feeling a little flushed from dancing and drinking I saw him at the food court and told him how I wanted to touch his butt, and HE LET ME!!!!!! I also got in on a picture with him as well since my girl Vivi Vegas started it. He is super sweet and has a dance background!! Anyway that is all his butt is amazing and he is super sweet.

Now time to be serious about the classes and shuttle so you know what they are. Burly on offers finishing classes every year at BHOF. They are classes offered by legends and a few panel talks. When I originally bought my ticket I was so excited to have the chance to learning styles and basics from so many I look up too. Exhaustion won during the day on the weekend though. The shimmy shuttle was a bus that took people from the hotel to the museum. I've been to the museum before but I wanted the interaction with other performers. Again exhaustion won. But if you are going to BHOF and you don't get the chance to go to something like Burlycon take advantage of these classes it's like having the chance to go to a mini Burlycon. Also no matter how often you have been to the museum going with other performers is great. Many usually will have their own stories to share about performers and legends.

Did I mention you get to shop? They have a vendor hall filled with people selling specifically to burly peeps. It was great I personally fell in love with Booty and the Geek shorts. I bought two pairs and want about 6 more if I could have afforded it. There were so many awesome things. I even met I diego Blue from Seattle without realizing it. And this just happens to be the place where you can find legends selling signed photos!!!!!!!

The last two events that happened were the pool party and the bowling. The bowling event was a hoot to watch and I really want to be sure to sign up next year. No one really cares about the actual bowling but more the costumes and themes people come up with. The pool party is on Sunday where most people with hang overs would eventually walk down looking stunning and handsome in their bathing suits have a few drinks and watch a fashion show. Seeing some of the ladies in their perfect outfits with perfect hair was great. During pool time there was a poker tournament for BHOF and that's where my hubs went and he was the big WINNER!! 

As you can tell this weekend is amazing filled with so. Much inspiration, love, and acceptance you can't help but become obsessed.

Glitter on lovelies!!!! And if you go next year come hunt me down.

Las Vegas and out laws

So this was a post that I had put together a couple of months ago after we were on the verge of a fight with the city. Since writing this we have some what solved our differences. But I wanted this up here anyway. So enjoy my angry rant peeps!!




So we all know I am a new performer and this was something I started to build my self esteem up and to finally be happy with me the way I am. Well recently the burlesque community has been under attack by our lovely law makers over what we wear and show while performing.

We have begun the fight of under boo and ass cheeks!!!!!!!

People I live in the city of Sin. where if  I ever wanted to I could at any time become a stripper wearing nothing more then a tiny ass g-string. Now I have known some amazing strippers who have worked their asses off and have done some awesome things with the money they bring in and those who spend it all on their kids. So I have absolutely no beef with strippers so please do not take this as if I do.

I am a born native of this town I have always held with the warmest of love, but right now I want to get into my cities head and go "What the hell are you doing?" WE ARE LAS VEGAS FOR FUCK SAKE!!!!!!! I was the child who grew up seeing the ass for a show girl and thought nothing of it. Our city which makes a good portion of the states revenue is made up of what people don't see around the world. People come here specifically for the debauchery. By this I mean the gambling, the barely dressed women, and if we like it or not the drugs and hookers too. We are the only state that has brothels and I commend us for having legal brothels because people enter that profession of their own accord. I digress though this whole thing is about what my damn city is doing. We have a drug problems and and illegal prostitution running in our county that goes on and they can't seem to get a handle on it. Personally I have known several escorts though out my life that worked quit easily here in this city and made really good money from it as well. And if you have lived in this city long enough and either frequent or work in casinos you can spot any level of prostitute in the place. Now of course this is coming from a born native and I am not putting any fact sheets with this so don't get your panties in a bunch Las Vegas you will see where I am going with this in a moment along with everyone else.

I'm sure you can all see that our past motto of "What's happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" was so fitting. As far as I know Burlesque has been in this city for over a decade since the boom of neo brought it back. But if you look at our history of headliners on the strip you will see Burlesque has deep roots here. As a new performer I am fucking proud of this history and giggle with glee when ever I see a legend who has been living here and performing here for many years.We also happen to have that one place...what was it called again....OH YA THE BURLESQUE HALL OF FAME MUSEUM!!!!!!! It was established years before it called us home but it was stayed for good back in 2010. Along with this we have the most amazing weekend every year the benefit weekend for the museum known as the BHOF Weekender. The weekender has been going on in Las Vegas since 2006 starting at the celebrity Theatre. 2008 at the Palms, the Plaza and the Orleans. The only location where the latest ridiculousness happened at was the Palms.

What is the Ridiculousness I am talking about you may be asking yourself? Well it just happens after 4 years of having absolutely phenomenal shows Live Burlesque was told by our happy home that they are no longer allowed to shoe UNDER BOOB!!!!!! And get this was aren't allowed to show our ASS CHEEKS either!!!!!!!



PLEASE reread the above section again I'll wait......

Okay now that we all see what the problem is let's continue with our current issue. Now this became an issue just recently The location we have been all either performing at or actively being audience members at was given an inspection and was told that one of the issues made it illegal for any performer in Live Burlesque in Las Vegas to perform the way we have been for the past four years.


Below or terms outlined when it comes to dancers and establishements

6.35.040 Prima facie evidence of erotic dance establishment.permanent link to this piece of content

It shall be prima facie evidence that a business is an erotic dance establishment when one or more dancers displays or exposes, with less than a full opaque covering, that portion of the female breast lower than the upper edge of the areola, or entices or persuades a patron to purchase a beverage sold in the establishment.

6.35.030 Definitions.permanent link to this piece of content

In this Chapter the following definitions and those in Title 6 shall apply unless the context clearly requires otherwise:

"Dancer" means a person who dances, models, personally solicits drinks or otherwise performs for an erotic dance establishment and who seeks to arouse or excite the patrons' sexual desires.

"Erotic dance establishment" means a fixed place of business which emphasizes and seeks, through one or more dancers entertainers, to arouse or excite the patrons' sexual desires. Erotic dance establishments are deemed to be places of public accommodation.

"Security guard" means a person who acts as a doorman or bouncer or who performs a function described in NRS 648.016

And now here are your establishment definitions


6.35.010 Findings.permanent link to this piece of content

The Las Vegas City Council finds that:

(A)
Erotic dance establishments, if unregulated, will likely lead to an increase in prostitution, venereal disease, drug and alcohol offenses, fraud and other criminal activity;
(B)
Erotic dance establishments sometimes are fronts for or operated by persons associated with organized criminal activities, and the need to scrutinize such dance studios is thereby enhanced;
(C)
The law enforcement resources available for responding to problems associated with or created by erotic dance establishments are limited and are best conserved by regulating and licensing erotic dance establishments and those associated with them; and
(D)
The public health, safety and welfare require that erotic dance establishments and their employees be regulated and licensed in order to reduce the potential for harm.
(Ord. 3916 § 2 (part), 1995)
6.35.020 Purpose.permanent link to this piece of content

The purpose of this Chapter is to regulate erotic dance establishments to the end that the many types of criminal activities frequently engendered by such establishments will be curtailed. However, it is recognized that such regulation cannot de facto approach prohibition. Otherwise a protected form of expression would vanish. This Chapter represents a balancing of competing interests: reduced criminal activity through the regulation of erotic dance establishments versus the protected rights of erotic dancers and patrons.


Can I just say non of us are prostitutes and nothing we do is going to being a rise in venereal deisease. Can I alos point out that non of us are trying to turn people on. Personally I am a joker who like to be comedic or if anything I would rather make someone slightly uncomfortable, but never turned on. Also I have never bee nto a show where anyone has attempted to solicit drinks I would never want to do that either and frankly it would freak me out if it happened. Now where do lines start getting blurred in how this is becoming a personal attack in my opinion or just a way to start forcing people to empty their pockets for unnecessary licenses for small neighborhood bars and other establishments that we have had the chance to perform in? Well what bests tells all are pics so here are a few.

Courtesy of their facebook page this beauty has been controversy since they first started posting it all over the valley on billboards, but I didn't see it disappear when it made news headlines. 

 And what about this great set of asses that have been on billboards and they just happen to be bronzed!!!

  Oh and these bad boys!!! We will put these with the group of catalogs of strippers and what I like to call the click clack cards that are passed out on the strip every single day. If you have ever gotten a card while walking around or decided to see what was in the magazine they use simple tiny stars to cover a spread leg woman and at times the smallest stars they can use to cover the nipple only not even the areola. 

The examples could flood this page of how so many businesses are aloud to show these parts but Heavens forbid that a small group of burlesque performers who like to get a laugh out of people from time to time show their under boob and ass cheeks. this is a fight I plan on being a part of and will probably write about several more times before I have thoroughly annoyed everyone who reads this blog. 

Definitely not sorry and glitter on bitches with all your under boob glory and fabulous ass cheeks.

Bad Touch

This is the second number I have put together after talking with the co producer who wished a person to do the song and I jumped for joy at the opportunity. Now this. Umber makes me super happy and it also reminds me that I have some special friends out there like Anita Brassiere who helped me so much with this costume.

In this video it's a bit hard at times to see me and I messed up a big chunk of the number too. This shows you that we all have our moments of shit happening and that's okay use it to your advantage.

Let me know your thoughts!!!!

http://www.burlesquestars.net/video/live-burlesque-in-las-vegas---smells-like-tease-spirit---chastity-badcock/6002

Video number one

So I haven't posted these yet and realized recently that they should be up. This is of my very first number. It is lovingly referred to as my violent femmes number. Though it is more then just that. This was at the first annual Las Vegas Burlesque Festival on the second night. I had performed this number about four times and felt pretty good about it by the time I did it at this show.

Hope you enjoy!!!!! Oh and let me know what you think.

http://www.burlesquestars.net/video/las-vegas-burlesque-festival---day-2---chastity-badcock/5844

Took a personal break

So for the last month and really the last two months I have taken a burlesque break. For some reason I  felt a bit bummed over some nasty people. It made me feel as if maybe it wasn't for me and it made me less then inspired to write as well. So instead of just giving up I took a break. And during that break I realized I still love the art form and over all I have found some amazing people in my life through it. I let myself get set back by a few not so nice people who only feel good by bringing others down, but I have prevailed and am excited to jump back on the horse and start on a new number and get back into the swing of things.

I miss being on the stage and getting a few laughs from people while up there. Making costumes and being around my favorite sets of boobs!! So I'm back and expect a few posts from me but for now I have a fee fun things to post for all of you.

Glitter on bitches!!!!!

So we didn't get in.

So we didn't get in to BHOF this weekend with the Can Can Cuties Act. I have to say though I am not sad about it. We did applied and that is great!!!! Applying is a huge thing the rejection is of course something on its own but we applied to the largest festival in our home city. Sugar Shagmore and I did this adventure with six other lovely ladies after hearing from a legend that we should pursue doing this at BHOF weekender. I am proud of each and every one of the girls who took part in this venture with us. And it isn't stopping us from using this great group of gals and the wonderful choreography we have for other Vegas shows. I'm glad we did it in the end and that we had the chance to learn what it was like pulling a group of girls with many different levels of learning and abilities together and making it work.

So thank you ladies for being a part of this awesome thing we have done and keep on doing.

And with that I give you Vegas' local beauties The Can Can Cuties!!!!!!

Sugar Shagmore

Chastity Badcock

Shimmy G'alore

Anita Brassiere

Missy Miss

Candi Dish

SpiderElla

Mia Sangria

 

First sewing class

So I took my first ever sewing class!!!!!!!!! I have never hand so wen anything before and I did it successfully. Let's just say in the past I was a fucking ass hat with a needle. But this past weekend I took a hand sewing class that was specifically geared toward making something just for burlesques reasons. I was taught with a few others by non other then my friend Sugar Shagmore.

Sugar happens to be a teacher and a performer so this bitch knows her business!!!

 

She took the time to show us what she had done and then began teaching us. Now I was the only fucking chic there who couldn't even sew a button on let alone covering a damn bra. I felt a little shitty when I first started out in the class, but over all by the end I felt accomplished.

 

Most of the other girls had brought fabric knowing what they wanted it for. I went to JoAnn's fabric that morning and picked out something that I thought was badass and it happened to be super nerdy.

That's right bitches I found awesome Start Trek themed fabric!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so excited in the kids section of the fabric store I didn't event bother thinking would this be good fabric to use. I just saw and said "Must Have It!" It isn't as easy to work with as I thought it would be and though it is more difficult to deal with because of the pattern and the fabric it is turning into an awesome bra. Now listen don't all going out looking for my fabric cause I want to do a ST themed number one day in the future and I don't want to hear how all the lovely bitches have the same damn thing.....just kidding I would feel as if I inspired you to be geeky and that would be an honor.

So we learned three types of stitches during class and the more difficult one seems to be my favorite one to work with. It is more time consuming but it's fun. I can't wait until it is fully done and I can randomly wear it around the house cause damn it I will and it will be fabulous.

This isn't a good pic but I had sown a good portion and I was super proud of me and sent pictures to Sugar of the whole process so she could see. I might have annoyed the shit out of her with all the pics I sent, but damn it I did it and she needed to see.

One cup down!!!!!!!

Talking with another noobie and all the faces!

First let me explain why I spell noob ice the way I do. I am first and foremost a nerd. When a new person who isn't as experienced as you gets into a game we dub the noobs. So I mesh my nerd self I to my burlesque self, got it? Okay good.

Onto the real point!!!!!!

So to help as a community it's member I clean the local burlesque studio on the weekends. I do it mainly because I want to help. Now yesterday I was met there by another burly peep who also helps the studio by doing social media. She wanted to take pics of me cleaning so me can post stupid shit like "look at our burly bitch clean" or something.  Any how's, she also runs a pretty cool blog about traveling and she recently started reading mine, yay me, and we got to talking.

Talking about faces, big scary music rises in the background while we begin our feelings, hah j/k. I said how I always look like I'm taking a dump when ever I try and do a sexy face and she said she looked special any time she did as well. I have even heard another friend tell me she was going back to just being cute after her current number because she can't pull sexy off very well.

What the fuck universe why does sexy face have to be so damn hard for some of us. We live in this age where technology keeps us always taking selfies and sending them to someone or for the lucky ones taking a provocative photo and sending it out. I began to think of how fucking dumb I would look if I tried to hike my short ass onto a bathroom counter and take some sexy pic of myself for another human. I mean really, I would look like I'm pooping in the sink. This is how I still feel about fucking sex face in burlesque and it's been almost a year damn it!!

I had a mentor once say that if it wasn't natural for you, you could train your face as if it were choreography and that it worked well. Tried that shit and in the end still look like I haven't pooped in days and it's getting close. It just feels ridiculous to contort my face in a way that it just doesn't want to go.  I've tried several times over the years and it has never worked. I had a boyfriend once who was trying to take sexy pics of me in my halloween costume and he was getting annoyed with me, because he would say "make a sexy face baby" and it would just look like I was staring off into lala land.

So my fellow noob and I sat laughing about how ridiculous we look trying to be sexy. It has made me realize though that my sexy shows through in my outrageous personality and the new found confidence I have. The faces I make help you smile back at me while on stage and in the end that's all that matters to me.

So glitter on bitches and if you make better sex face then me I just might make a fucked up goofy face at you one day ;-P

Vegas Article

Guess what lil performer was mentioned in an article??????

It's me!!!!!!!

The part that I am in fits me pretty well. I rehearse looking like a slob with my favorite sweats on and it shows that this art form is about accepting yourself. I like that! It also read a lot about shows around the entire city on and off strip.  Gotta love when burlesque is pointed out for its awesomeness!

Here's the article link if you'd like to take a look.

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Flvweekly.com%2Fae%2F2014%2Fmar%2F13%2Fzombie-striptease-fiery-performance-new-wave-burle%2F%23%2F1&h=LAQHLQZvL&s=1

Glitter on bitches!!!!!

Doing a burly parental rant!!!!!!

I have resisted in the past from doing this but yet again my son due to playing with a "gender opposite" toy was called a girl, AGAIN. 

Let me just paint a picture of my kiddo for you real quick. He is a tiny two year old. When I say tiny think the size of a one and a half year old, so yeah he is a petite little shit. He has big blue eyes, long blonde hair and is rough and tumble ALL the fucking time. He wears the typical gender looking clothes like most boys and same goes for his shoes, though being naked is his preffered state of attire, you'd think his mom likes to be naked or something. Now what he does have that many boys don't get usually are his unicorn pillow pets hanging out around the house that are purple and pink and his alligator baby who is always swaddled. He loves his baby and makes me diaper it and redo it's swaddled on the daily. He also likes bringing his baby on rides and ventures to the store from time to time with us. The last thing my son does that is unlike most little boys is he likes putting make up on him self and on me when given the chance. He likes to make mommy pretty and draw war paint on my face.

So being a parent who strips for fun my son is almost always in the bathroom with me when I am prepping for a show. When we are in the car either I'm rehearsing in my head or getting the feeling for a new number. Which means he has to listen to certain songs over and over again. This means I don't  play yo gabba gabba all day long he listens to my stripper songs instead. He watches me work on costume pieces by myself or with a burly friend. He takes many trips to the Fantastic Indoor Swapmeet, Hobby Lobby, Michael's, JoAnn's Fabric, and even random spots that I get my materials from. He hangs out at the Burlesque studio with me weekly and knows many of the burly faces I associate with. My kid is definitely a burlesque kid!!!

From the day he was born he was mistaken as a girl and 90% of the time I politely correct others while other times I just make a point to call him "lil man" infront of others so they realize he isn't a girl. Yesterday was a situation that sparked a bit of irritation while I stood with him in Subway. He was mistaken for being a girl because he had a baby!!!!!!!!!!!! Fucking really people. What if my son came out in public with a fan, which he plays with a lot due to me keeping them around when I'm getting ready to perform. Or better yet feathers from a costume piece I have at home? Because he uses items not normally accepted by society for boys he isn't considered a boy? As you can see this pings a fire in me I dislike greatly. He watches the drag being put on pretty regularly and he enjoys watching or partaking in putting on the drag as well, so it hurts and makes me angry to see that his tiny self  is constantly being called a girl. 

Being part of a world that relishes in standing for your own it kills me that so many out in the world take no consideration when seeing a small person. I live in a world where I am obsessed with male burlesque performers like, Billy Boylesque, The Evil Hate Monkey, Matt Fraser, The Stagedoor Johnnies, Sexy Rick, Banana Fosters, Tito Bonito, and so many more. These men show me that my son can be anything from one minute to another.  And that society standards mean nothing when it comes to creating an individual. Frankly I'm only a helper anyway and he creates himself by loving his baby, putting on make up, beating me up in a sword fight, and walking around bumping his fists saying "Hulk Smash!" 

I just wish people would be a bit considerate when it comes to realizing or just guessing what he is. I am not a parent who wants to use one of the newly acquired labels that are out there now. He is a boy his sex tells us this for now and only the future can tell us differently. 

Sp glitter on bitches and to all you burly moms keep raising fabulous kids!!!!!!! 

Prepping for a photo shoot

So in two weeks I have my very first photo shoot. I've been very excited and now am slowly getting nervous. Have I ever talked about me and sex face? Well I look like I'm trying to poop when I try, yup pooping face not sex face. I tend to be goofy on stage cause that is way easier. I've been unsuccessful with sex face my whole life so smiling and goofy face I stick with. Anyways, I'm getting distracted again....squirrel!!

Back to photo shoot. There was this awesome chance to shoot with Radiant Inc. So I was all over that shit. Now Radiant Inc has done amazing photos of Cha Cha Velour, Aya Fontaine, Shimmie G'alore, La Rosa Muerta, and many other beautiful babes of Vegas burlesque. So of course I'd also want photos by them.  I'm getting nervous now because I can't be serious. I have my two outfits picked out and am even getting my hair and make up done professionally so it actually looks good.  How am I supposed to take good photos if I can't even pose seriously and make good faces? Ahhhhhhhhhh....this whole face thing gets me every fucking time people!!!!! I practice making good faces but, poop face still seems to be the whole look. Who wants poop face? No body that's who! 

I'm breathing again,sorry. It just worries me that what ever photo is taken I'm gonna look like poop. I'm sure the awesome duo at Radiant Inc. will help me not look like butt. It's just a scary thing to realize that photos are gonna be taken of me where I am posing and not performing on a stage. Most don't know but I am fearful of the camera, I'm slowly getting over my fear due to always watching videos of me and seeing the pics people post from shows, but not completely yet. Not getting a lot of nice photos from some shows doesn't help. It makes me feel like when I'm up there what I do isn't photogenic and nothing they take is good. See fear here causing shit in my lil world. Damn you. Fear I will conquer you!!!!

Okay my freak out is gone now thanks for stopping by and reading my rant today ;-)

And here is ther website if you are interested in seeing their works http://www.radiantinc.net

Glitter on bitches!!!!

A letter to a lady

This is something I've been thinking of for about two weeks now based off of my interactions with an amazing performer. She is a local Vegas performer that many might have seen around the world and I have been lucky enough to share a stage with her now three times. Oh yah and I got serious about this after seeing her in a panda suit. So here we go!!

Dear Kalani Kokonuts,

To many of us new comers you are one of many who are the untouchables. We get scared to talk to you and just see perfection when you enter the stage. Recently over the past few months I have been able to share a stage with you. The first time I couldn't even talk to you because I saw a burly superstar hanging out backstage prepping to do her performance. I was with a fellow performer after the show who wanted to meet you and talk to you so I tagged along. I stood amongst great performers I didn't know and just watched like the geeky girl around the popular kids in highschool uncomfortable but happy to be around. As weird and childish as it may seem you didn't even talk to me but bought me a drink anyway that night.

The second time was during the first show that marked Live Burlesque in Las Vegas' 4th year at Boomers Bar and was the first show of the year. I stood in the back of the room and watched you do your thing and appreciated every moment of art you brought to the stage. After the show that night I went up to tell you how great you were, and I stumbled over my words sounding like a numbskull. But you were soft spoken and very kind to me though you had no idea who I was.

I was privileged enough to perform again on Boomers stage and share it once again. You asked for assistance and I gave it to you and then you spoke to me about my costume. Like a child, AGAIN, I smiled and couldn't say much back. Also I'm sorry for touching your cat suit before you performed. Lesson learned don't touch super shiney cat suits cause they may have oil on them :-/. And after the show you were once again super kind to me and even took a pic with me not hesitating though it clearly appeared you needed to be heading out. 

Now this last time I saw you perform I was there with several friends and one just happens to be a dear friend of mine who also is a performer. You didn't do burlesque that night and instead you sang. You have a lovely voice by the way and were very entertaining. My friend and I after the show had commented about how human you appeared on stage and the humility you were showing while singing. Most of us have only ever seen you perform perfectly so to see you like that made you a bit more human to us and thankful that even someone like you can be nervous on the stages you perform on.

So after all of this blabbing I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being kind to me and bringing amazingness to the stage. Also thanks for posting shit on Instagram that prove you are like the rest of us, the Panda suit was awesome. Hopefully I will be able to have a normal conversation with you one day instead of getting overly excited.

I think I will do this more often to the people I love and respect. Glitter on Bitches!!!!!!

ME DAMN IT

So recently I have gotten a bit of slack from a couple of directions about how I work when it comes to people. I will mainly take instances from convos I have had with my hubs but not all said is necessarily from him. So with that disclaimer out of the way I am ME!!!!!

I run with a very different moral compass then most in every aspect of my life. Lessons I now realize that were instilled in my by my tiny old woman when I was a young adult. So if you haven't seen me at a show yet or had the chance to be in a performance with me I am the boob grabbing, all smiles, happy to see ya kind of person. It is rare that I will not approach a person and chit chat or hug them. Actually when I'm more mellow I usually get asked if I'm sick.

I also try to stick with kindness. Being happy is a choice and even when I mention another performer in a negative light I don't want everyone basing their opinion off of me so I don't mention names on here or to others unless it is in a positive light. I have had many chances to call people out on this blog for behavior, but then I would be no better and frankly this is my chance to be a narcissist so this is about me not them, and my experiences. 

I am a forgiver. I don't like holding grudges against people and I don't hate others no matter how badly I have been hurt by them. This is a thing that baffles people constantly. I have had a few who just think I'm crazy for not being angry for an overly acceptable amount of time. I don't like being in a hole of negativity. I lived many years in a hole similar to that and I have made many efforts to not do that again. So being kind to others is what I do.

Being a friend. I have been told about this one more then once by every partner I have had in my life. They see that I will stop and run to anyone who needs my help in any way. I have been told that I am more of a friend to many who are not true friends to me. They use my help and assistance when they need it but when I need it they aren't around. This part has shown its self to be true many times in the past, but I have a feeling that if I called upon any of the glittery tribe I have most will help me. I don't personally lean on people for support, but it doesn't mean I can't be a supporter of others. Good deeds are best left as those and not wanting something from anyone I help. If they feel the need to assist me or help me when I need it makes it a special gift to me. And this has happened to me in moments of stress when I am performing or getting ready to, Anita Brasierre, ViVacious, Buttercup Delight, Kiki Delco, Cha Cha Velour, Lou Lou Roxy, and many others are all people who have helped me at some point. The list can go on and on so far when it comes to my performances. 

So as all this is said and out there now...I like being nice and happy. This life is too short to be angry and upset all the time. I want my life to be filled with good.

So glitter on bitches you are all awesome people!!!!!!

BHOF BHOF BHOF!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Okay if you can't get the idea I am so fucking excited this year for the most amazing weekender event!!! This wonderful event comes right before my birthday this year too. So if you have read far enough back I was lucky enough to attend one of the nights during last years weekend. And I was lucky enough that during that one show I saw Dita Vontese and my all time fave performer Dirty Martini.  After all of that I kept hearing about the weekend I knew I had missed out on so many great performances over the weekend. So this year, thanks to the man who spoils the shit out of me, I am going for the whole weekend!!!!!!!!!! Four shows and After parties too!!!!! The other part that fucking excites me like no tomorrow is the fact that my man tags along with too, I really love him.

So very recently it was posted on the BHOF museums Facebook page that the color for one of the after parties this year is green. What did I do??? Started looking for green dresses of course. The first items I bought though weren't even for me they are for my hubs. I bought his green shirt, green cuff links and a bow tie I plan on glaming out with rhinestones very soon. Yes people my man will wear rhinestones for me day or night that's why we are meant to be! 

I have found my dress but am waiting to purchase it so I can get it fitted to me perfectly. I am starting the gym today....again. This time my hubs and our dear friend are all going to start going together. This means I will start going on a weekly basis and that will inevitably mean I will tighten my sexy bod a lil more. Did I say that I am have no motivation to go to the gym alone and because my hubs knows me he made the choice to join as well, because he said I would never go alone so he has to join now :) I love him. So back to my gorgeous dress I'll be wearing!!!!! It is strapless covered in sequins and is a mermaid style bottom. I can't wait to have it. I also have a pink beaded dress I bought for the Vegas festival last October. So this means I need one more awesome gown and maybe just a cocktail style dress for Sunday.

As for where we are staying I was hoping for a suite at the hotel hosting the weekender, the Orleans, but I was shit out of luck there. So I went to my fave hotel to stay at and looked at suites there. I love the Rio all suites hotel. I love their steakhouse, their pool, and the rooms are fucking awesome. The suite I'm looking at would be big enough as well to hold a Vegas peeps after party!!!!!! So because my husband is an amazing man it looks like we will have a ton of fun that weekend and as usual my birthday will be amazing. 

I honestly am just freaking over the fact that I get to wear awesome dresses the whole weekend, see lots of boobs, possibly meet some of the performers I admire, and spend it with my husband and friends. Yay!!

Glitter on you fab bitches!!!

My body and burlesque

So I have chosen to rewrite this post. I just want to say that I hate coming across as a jerk. I am over all a very spiritual person who believes being mean doesn't get me anywhere but in a hole of negativity. And because of that I don't like being that way and feel that what I said is possibly going to start personal attacks on people because people want to assume things and go down the road of hate, which was not at all what I was meaning. There were a few points I didn't point out correctly anyway and want to fix them. So if any of you felt as if I was attacking you I apologize and that also means the meaning of the post was lost to everyone.

So let's start from the beginning...

I took the time to look at my chubby self and thoughts went as so...

So today while standing in front of a mirror and looking at my buck ass naked self I began to think. Yes, I was staring at my chubby rolls in the mirror, which isn't something I do. Usually it is a quick "hello body you are looking plump today" type situation before I quickly turn around and ignore the rolls I just saw. I was once a thin little thing who kept myself at around 115-130 and now sit at around 180. 

So back to staring at my lady lumps in the mirror.

I started thinking about all the body bashing I have been hearing about and seeing on social media and with all the "only real peeps love women with curves" shit. I took a long look at my thighs that touch almost all the way down to my knees when not together, the scar lovingly known as my sun roof where my son came out, my slightly sagging breasts, my lovely round belly, my thick arms and my over all mainly pear shaped body. I began to think again of the many social media posts I have seen. Now I have people on my social media sites from all over the place. And what I see ranges from  love your curves to always work out. I also thought of those lovely thin girls I know with perfect asses, beautiful waists, perfect tits, and even my thicker girls who have great skin covering their size, smooth round bellies, and not so thick thighs. It also got me thinking of a burlesque article I was reading that was about how burlesque doesn't give you self confidence. So I decided that I needed to put things out there for others to read about body image coming from a former skinny girl.

Here I am naked in all my glory taking a minute to think "Is my size that bad that it grosses people out?" In my opinion if it does don't fucking talk to me anymore. I also don't want to be told how I should go on the newest dieting fad either. I am me!!! True I am not perfect but as a former skinny person from a dancers background I am not unhappy with me. I do have my days like any other woman where I feel less sexy then I did the day before when I allow others opinions of me get to me. But over all I am me for a reason. I initially gained weight because I fell inlove. Yes that is my reason and I say this because when I was thinner I was unhappy with my life and barely ate or would only closet eat while with my ex, well that and he threatened to leave me if I ever became fat. I know those were not my smartest days. I was so desperate to be wanted that I even held onto being bulimic for a while. And in highschool I held onto being under 120 by being Anorexic so I would be cast in the next number a choreographer was doing. But back to gaining. I fell in love for the first time in a very long time and fell in love with the one person I knew I couldn't live without. I was finally happy and had someone who was okay with me eating a cheese burger like a beast. Then I gained because I got pregnant. Let me tell you I looked like a beached whale right before I had my little monster. I lost a good fifty pounds of it but held hard onto what I had left. 

Now why am I not doing drastic measures to get the weight off or why am not freaking out on a daily basis over how the world looks at me? In all reality I don't care. My squishy self makes for a great snuggle buddy for my little man, I enjoy eating my food, I love meat, I love beer, and my husband still thinks I'm super fucking sexy. Now when I first started in burlesque it helped my realize that I love me. It reminded me that everyone is a different shape and size and everyone wants at least one body part replaced or sucked down. Does this make me not want any of those things? Hell no I want bigger boobs!!!

For the most part I always wore tights because I didn't think it was safe for a girl my size to not wear them and I always wear a shimmy belt or skirt to hide my lower belly. If I'm so happy with my chubby self why would I do all those things or want boobs? When I perform it isn't about me when I'm on stage it's about the audience. Most would want to see my belly and frankly even when I had fabulous boobs prior the child monster I still wanted bigger, I like big boobs, and I recently learned that the audience loves my juicy booty without tights so from now on NO MORE TIGHTS. Those who don't think of the audience when performing forget that you are there to entertain and when what you bring becomes a distraction instead of your performance you lost what you were there to do.this goes for all you tight ass thin girls too. And personally I kind of play on being a fatty I bring food eating into what I'm doing or joke about what I have on or show. When I see my videos I don't look at my body and go ew that looks nasty I go huh the audience sounds great and my choreography is spot on. This is what you should be doing and the article is right burlesque is not about giving you self confidence you have to do that and learn that it's okay to be you.

If you are larger that's okay if you are skinny that's okay and if you are somewhere in between that's okay too. Stop listening to the body bashers, trying every diet known to man, stop reading all the damn posts about how men think (care about your own loved ones thoughts if your gonna care at all) and do what is right for you. This goes for those who want to get angry over thin girls talking about weight and do what some have done to you and begin to hate back. And please do it in the healthiest way possible the long term issues that come from drastic measures are far worse in the end then what you get at the moment. Also remember what makes you great as you are right now. And a side note to all of you who like to post about people being fat and lazy or wanting to feed food to skinny girls. Let people be and focus on you. What will constantly judging everyone else in the world do for you....nothing but create enemies amongst the people you feel the need to bash on. This goes for me too because I'm cheeky from time to time with my more fit peers and I should I think they are all sexy as fuck big and small, besides they let me touch their butts and boobs so I shouldn't complain or make fun of ever, I might lose my privealages.

For me what makes me great are......

My son loves my squishy fat for snuggling

My ass is super juicy

My man thinks I'm hot just the way I am

My belly is extra good for the belly rubs

I like food

My belly makes for a great baby seat

My legs and ass make for a great spring board for my son to bounce off of

And burlesque wise the booty is good for the shaking

Also I am great to snuggle in general cause I'm soft....cuddling is my fave btw

One day I will have bigger boobs and that will make me feel a bit more even, but for now I hold my saggy boobs and remember they are mine and that's okay. Will I possibly lose weight? Maybe if I ever decide to go to the gym. And do I have a weight goal, I did but have decided to let my body shape it's self through some exercise and not as many beers and chocolate bars. It doesn't mean I don't love me now it just means I need more stamina for all the stripping I tend to do in this life time. 

And let's not forget that some of the most famous performers in burlesque aren't any one shape but many shapes. And they rock my socks off every time I YouTube stock them ;) 

Glitter up bitches and remember self love above all!!! 

New number

So over the last few weeks I have been working on a new number. At the end of  February, which was a show doing a tribute to the 90s. Finding out that there was a 90s showing happening I tried to get in it, which I was lucky enough to do so. Now knowing I got it only a month ago made me freak out, only a month to put a number together, for me, is a scary thought. On top of the choreography fear the costume process seemed to stump me. I have no skills when it comes to costuming besides seeing the vision in my head and hoping someone else understands me. The third fear was my music. I personally don't like going past 3:30 with a song and my song was a bit over 4. So as you can see my skills end with choreography.

So when starting my steps to my music I began to show a select few and make some changes. Eventually I went to one of my mentors and had help filling in the many gaps I had and even got some added fun ideas. So that part getting done and my own hard work getting validated as something people would like to see I finished with two weeks to spare, thank the glittery goddess of burlesque!!!!

Next my costume, that evil thing that makes me feel "special" when trying to handle. How I loath the fact that I can't fucking sew and can barely handle a glue gun. I began whining pathetically about my costume fears to a burly friend and this lovely sewing goddess in glittery cape and wig to Jesus came to my rescue. What started out as I will help you turned into "don't touch my costume" after I repeatedly asked if we could just glue everything on. She has even given me three dimensional fruit!!!! Now this woman I need to spend a few talking about, because she didn't just save my ass with my costume but also acts as one of the few people who reminds me to stay neutral and always positive. She is an amazing performer, Emcee, and sewing queen. She smiles and hugs everyone and refuses to be one of those women who only talks shit about everyone. Honestly you should look up that lovely lassy....her name just happens to be Anita Brasierre!!! 

The last freaking issue I had was my damn freaking music. Yet again another skill slips from my grasp. So a song that's too long needing to be cut. Should I fade it or do a straight cut? All the things I have no ideas how to even think of what to do. So I put a post out to see if anyone could assist this music loser and low and behold a little blonde I know by the name of Buttercup Delight offered to assist this chubby gal. And because she is a gracious soul she came to my rescue as well. She made two copies for me one with a straight cut and one fading out. And as a side note I actually had a couple more friendly faces volunteer their services as well and again I am thankful to them as well.

How the hell did I get so lucky?? I am constantly being shown kindness when I need it more then anything and always making me change my opinion of others.

I love getting to know others and hopefully one day I can be a help to others like those who have been helping me.

Wonderful surprises

So there have been people in the community that when I first met them I didn't necessarily like them. The had an air of snob about them or they weren't nice to me or someone I knew. But by putting my dislikes aside and being polite they pleasantly surprised me over time. When being met with kindness always and my initiated conversations they started to grow on me. I have found inspiration from those I didn't like initially and I have even told them they are inspiration to me as well. Does this mean we are best friends? Of course not, but it does mean I enjoy their company when I see them briefly at shows or when I work with them. And in the end they continue to surprise me with kindness back. 

Being surprised by people is one of my favorites. They always make my heart swell a little to be proven wrong and put a smile on my face. I kind of like being proven wrong from time to time. It reminds me to chose kindness over anything else.

 

On a similar note first impressions should never be the ones you keep forever of someone. I recently heard of someone who thought many hated her and that us burlesquers were bitchy. Now knowing that isn't true I wrote a rant on Facebook about giving people a chance and never letting your first impression or your friends opinions keep you from talking to any of us. We are all pretty cool people and easy to get along with. Times not to try and talk up. A performer is right before a show. We all get nervous and begin to focus, I know I do. But if you take the time to go up and introduce yourself most of us will sit and chat or let you join in on the crazy convo we are having. I know that in the beginning I had to start introducing myself to people before given the time of day. I used Facebook or their performance to use as a way to say hi. Over time most started just chatting with me. It helps that I always have a smile and I hug boobs, don't steal my boob grabs their mine damn it. I have been shown kindness from some of the most unlikely people in my mind. 

Most recent person to show me kindness I didn't think I was cool enough to get was the wonderful Vi-Vacious. Outside of Burlesque I don't wear make up heavy and my hair is almost always up. I pulled my hair out of curlers at the show and I looked like a fucked up version of Shirley Temple. Vi-Vacious came to my rescue! She was in the show and had her own shit to be doing and she stopped and helped fix my hair along with giving me tips the whole time. I was humbled by her generosity and her kindness she had shown me. I thanked her several times and felt amazing the rest of the night because of it. I didn't think I was cool enough to be anywhere near her world and she let me. This proves that you can't just sit back and assume that everyone is a bitch, too cool, or mean. They need the chance to prove you wrong so give it to them.

Personal share time!!!

So I have been writing about me personally in my head for I this but have never actually sat down and posted the stuff I wanted too. So now I will spend time being open, honest and maybe a little emotional.

So we all know by now I am a mom...this isn't something most performers here are. Well if they do have kids they're older so it gives them their freedom back. I in the other hand have a toddler boy on my hands. This being said he is pretty awesome. He goes to rehearsals with me, shops for burly stuff with me, and even puts his make up on while I'm doing the same for a show. But it does mean I can't stay out till 6a.m. And I do have to miss out on shows and other fun stuff because he is number 1. But for the most part the girls that I am super close with all know him and don't mind the tag along when I have him, thank goodness or I'd be lonely.

The other too priority is my hubs. We all know him and he is always known as Mr. Badcock by everyone now a days. Us as a duo are unlike any other. We are both super social and flirty. In the Vegas community it seems a bit out of the norm to be who we are, but I love him and he loves me. I also get the always awkward question (for others not me) if we are in an open relationship. The overly flirts that we are wwe don't hide who we are ever. I always answer truthfully which is a big fat yes! For a while the woman he was dating was at my shows all the time and I had the two biggest fans shouting for me in the audience. The best part about answering everyone's question are all the questions after the big yes happens. Some are like "yah that's cool" and "others are all you are crazy why?" Well in all honesty we are who we are and we love to love. Does being this way have it's down falls? Well of course it does people love to have reasons to talk and hate. So I say let them talk I don't need a bunch of nasty people as friends who talk shit so I keep those who are true close and am polite to everyone else. 

Polite!  Hah this seems to be something that people mistake as being fake. I don't like being a hater. When I find myself in situations where I am being a hater in any way I try and fix that quickly. No one needs to be an ugly person it's a choice. I was asked once why I didn't hate a person and it's because I don't have room for hate. In all honesty as negative as this person is I miss them. I don't like being friends with someone I once was friends with. And it kills me that I see them at all the shows and I avoid them because their negativity got to be too much for me to handle. It makes me sad on the daily, but sometimes you have to let go of the people who bring you down with them. Still I digress, I am polite to everyone and recently I saw a post on Facebook saying "Being polite doesn't make me fake. It means I was taught manners." It's true I was taught to be polite by my little southern mama. And wanting to be a happy person in life I don't want to be nasty so I am polite. Being polite does not mean I am friends with every single person I speak with it means I am trying to show kindness.

How time flys!!!!

So it's been over a month since I have written a damn thing. So I guess this post will be a recap of fancy shit that's been going on. 

January was a CRAZY month. I hadn't talked much about it but for a few months I had been working on a group number with the entire intention to apply to BHOF Weekender. This is the biggest competition and burlesque weekend. On top of that it is held here in Vegas yearly. It's been a roller coaster of high emotions, love, and hard ass work. We did our promo photos and videoed our number. I love this number and the crazy chicks we have in it. Now we are just getting ready for performances until we get our application letter back in March.

I also had the privealage of being a Billy Club Girl in a show called Pink Tease. I have to say it was an awesome experience. I got to work with my crush Billy Boy. He hasn't been a burlesque performer for very long but he is a magnificent performer and such a freaking sweet heart. It's inspiring when you get to see the real side of someone when you are working with them. He had all of these ideas that were magnificent. He produced the first Live Burlesque in Las Vegas show of the year. and I have to say it was wonderful!!! I got to be one of his special bitches during the show that included performing with him too. He had amazing performers in his show many who we all know and one special guest I was all dumb with because she is amazing. Feeling honored about being on the stage with these beauties still and always will! 

Through working with them I was confirmed to be in the next LBLV (Live Burlesque in Las Vegas) this month too. It means a whole new number that I will have whipped up with some assistance from my lovely mentors. This was huge for me since I had thought I lost my chance to be in it since all the others I knew who were in it were vets in the community and over all amazing performers. So as of right now I am freaking out daily over making sure I don't fuck this opportunity up.

So life is filled with glitter and music!!!

Dance on bitches and be fabulous!