It's time to check in about the things I am learning now that I am not in the perfect little bubble that was my burlesque class. First though let me apologize for being so damn quiet. I spent this month with family and prepping to go see that family. It was a great trip though , but damn am I glad to be back in my metropolis of sin.
So to think upon the things I am learning. Well one thing is that people truly do like to judge a person before ever getting to know them. Not to say that I haven't found some fantastic people who look at a person as a an individual and get to know their character before making fast judgments. I have found those in this group as well. But sometimes people like to turn their noses up at things they don't understand or think it's something beyond their personal comfort level. This has always irked me since I have always been a person pushing the envelope, even as a small child. I just wish people wouldn't allow their minds to start building negative thoughts without getting to know a person first.
After the classes have ended not seeing all of my dear burly sisters getting into every show they want to is hard for me. I want to see all of us succeed and when one of us doesn't it hurts my heart a little. We were all warned that not everyone is going to get into the same shows or festivals and rejection is part of doing what we do, but it doesn't mean I don't wish them all happy pasty twirling times.
Women will always be women. I say this in the way that I know we can all be catty bitches from time to time. And I have worked in fields that were dominated by women my whole life and it never seems to change. Catty behavior always follows those who have estrogen filled bodies. It's like it is mapped in our DNA or something. To anyone reading this wait until you are in the comfort of your own damn car or home to make fun of a performer or say something that isn't nice. Also keep it between you and the wall. You never know who is around when you say these things and it could get back to the person you are talking about. Now I know how it may look if you are giggling during a performance and someone sees you and you haven't done anything wrong. I have done that and then I have thought "Oh no what if someone thought I was shit talkin?" The one thing to remember in the end is that the opinion of one is not the opinion of many. Always take things with a grain of salt. Especially, because I feel there has been a little shit talking about me out their in this little world. Doesn't matter though I like who I am and those who I have had the privilege of getting to know are great people as well.
Deciding on what you want to do for a new act is fucking hard!!!!! I keep hearing these great songs where I can see myself doing something to, but I don't know which one to start with and what direction I want to go in. I will figure it out soon though...I hope.
I am the mom. Yes in the alternate universe I live in I am an actual mom with two boys, but in this world I am the mom too. I tend to cheer my friends on and help them in any way I can. I will be the cheerleader when needed, the words of wisdom about outside life at times, the more responsible one (mainly that I can't come and go when I like) if someone is in need I will figure out how to make it happen asap. I will help in any way I can in the weirdest of ways sometimes, but my heart always means well. I don't mind being the mom either it is a part I play well and I like it.
The last thing is that I have ambition. I love performing and it makes me freaking happy. I know I will be faced with rejection and cruelty from time to time and I don't mind. In the end all that matters is getting on that stage and having a blast.
As a little shout out I love my Melons and my Kiki. You two girls make my heart sing. This doesn't exclude all you other lovely ladies out there. These two just make things good when I am feeling down.
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