It's funny how when looking or seeing or even listening to things is different when you start going down the path of becoming a serious burlesque performer. I see certain materials or outfits and I wonder how those could become something much more than what they are. You see a normal dance performance and you wonder how you could do a strip version of the awesome you just saw. Better yet every single song I hear now becomes some version of me stripping in my head. The other thing that has changed for me is how involved my family life is getting into this. At first it was just me with the support of a few family members, which was big and scary all at the same time. Now I am hoping to make it a family affair where I can't wait for the time I can do a duet with my hubs. And my son isn't a little guy that no one knows. He is everywhere with me and most of the community out here knows who he is and he knows them as well. Along with family there are a rare few who are slowly becoming my family and I fucking love it.
The other thing that I have constant struggles with are do it for the art only or be a professional about it. In our city there aren't a ton of shows with great stages and mind blowing venues. Most of these ladies are pulling the money out of their pockets and not always are they making anything off of what they are doing so we perform where we are welcome. I think I have potential to be a good performer, but I feel as of right now that I am no where near that level. I feel like in a year or so after I have successfully been in more that the Las Vegas Burlesque festival it could be a possibility. I would like to be recognized by other pretty well known performers in this country not just here at home. I have a long way though before I can even think of that. But the thought has crossed my mind, "Do I have what it takes?" is a constant in this little head of mine.
Wheels turning turning turning...
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