Okay I am putting it out there cause it is an emotion I don't live without sometimes. I am the person who wants every person I know to succeed. Especially in burlesque. I love all of my girls and want to see all of us do well. On the other hand too I know I work very hard to gain what I have gained so far as well. And when I have been picked without doing anything first I work twice as hard to make sure that I don't fuck up the opportunity I was given. So in the end I know I deserve what I have been given and the shows I am in.
So back to the guilt. I hate when something has come up for me that others don't get. At times I feel like I should tell people no thank you so that my friends can gain a chance at doing something. I don't want to cheat myself at what I love, but I don't want others to get upset either. I also know that there are plenty of other shows and future festivals that I will not get into as well.
The whole process just makes me sick sometimes. I don't want to be hated and I want their success just as much as my own. I don't ever wish badly on anyone and am their biggest supporters too. In the end it is a feeling I bring upon myself most days.
My advice to others about this. Support everyone and take your own success or failure with strides. Just be proud you are part of a community that is a ton of fun and filled with super sexy people.
No comments:
Post a Comment