New number

So over the last few weeks I have been working on a new number. At the end of  February, which was a show doing a tribute to the 90s. Finding out that there was a 90s showing happening I tried to get in it, which I was lucky enough to do so. Now knowing I got it only a month ago made me freak out, only a month to put a number together, for me, is a scary thought. On top of the choreography fear the costume process seemed to stump me. I have no skills when it comes to costuming besides seeing the vision in my head and hoping someone else understands me. The third fear was my music. I personally don't like going past 3:30 with a song and my song was a bit over 4. So as you can see my skills end with choreography.

So when starting my steps to my music I began to show a select few and make some changes. Eventually I went to one of my mentors and had help filling in the many gaps I had and even got some added fun ideas. So that part getting done and my own hard work getting validated as something people would like to see I finished with two weeks to spare, thank the glittery goddess of burlesque!!!!

Next my costume, that evil thing that makes me feel "special" when trying to handle. How I loath the fact that I can't fucking sew and can barely handle a glue gun. I began whining pathetically about my costume fears to a burly friend and this lovely sewing goddess in glittery cape and wig to Jesus came to my rescue. What started out as I will help you turned into "don't touch my costume" after I repeatedly asked if we could just glue everything on. She has even given me three dimensional fruit!!!! Now this woman I need to spend a few talking about, because she didn't just save my ass with my costume but also acts as one of the few people who reminds me to stay neutral and always positive. She is an amazing performer, Emcee, and sewing queen. She smiles and hugs everyone and refuses to be one of those women who only talks shit about everyone. Honestly you should look up that lovely lassy....her name just happens to be Anita Brasierre!!! 

The last freaking issue I had was my damn freaking music. Yet again another skill slips from my grasp. So a song that's too long needing to be cut. Should I fade it or do a straight cut? All the things I have no ideas how to even think of what to do. So I put a post out to see if anyone could assist this music loser and low and behold a little blonde I know by the name of Buttercup Delight offered to assist this chubby gal. And because she is a gracious soul she came to my rescue as well. She made two copies for me one with a straight cut and one fading out. And as a side note I actually had a couple more friendly faces volunteer their services as well and again I am thankful to them as well.

How the hell did I get so lucky?? I am constantly being shown kindness when I need it more then anything and always making me change my opinion of others.

I love getting to know others and hopefully one day I can be a help to others like those who have been helping me.

Wonderful surprises

So there have been people in the community that when I first met them I didn't necessarily like them. The had an air of snob about them or they weren't nice to me or someone I knew. But by putting my dislikes aside and being polite they pleasantly surprised me over time. When being met with kindness always and my initiated conversations they started to grow on me. I have found inspiration from those I didn't like initially and I have even told them they are inspiration to me as well. Does this mean we are best friends? Of course not, but it does mean I enjoy their company when I see them briefly at shows or when I work with them. And in the end they continue to surprise me with kindness back. 

Being surprised by people is one of my favorites. They always make my heart swell a little to be proven wrong and put a smile on my face. I kind of like being proven wrong from time to time. It reminds me to chose kindness over anything else.

 

On a similar note first impressions should never be the ones you keep forever of someone. I recently heard of someone who thought many hated her and that us burlesquers were bitchy. Now knowing that isn't true I wrote a rant on Facebook about giving people a chance and never letting your first impression or your friends opinions keep you from talking to any of us. We are all pretty cool people and easy to get along with. Times not to try and talk up. A performer is right before a show. We all get nervous and begin to focus, I know I do. But if you take the time to go up and introduce yourself most of us will sit and chat or let you join in on the crazy convo we are having. I know that in the beginning I had to start introducing myself to people before given the time of day. I used Facebook or their performance to use as a way to say hi. Over time most started just chatting with me. It helps that I always have a smile and I hug boobs, don't steal my boob grabs their mine damn it. I have been shown kindness from some of the most unlikely people in my mind. 

Most recent person to show me kindness I didn't think I was cool enough to get was the wonderful Vi-Vacious. Outside of Burlesque I don't wear make up heavy and my hair is almost always up. I pulled my hair out of curlers at the show and I looked like a fucked up version of Shirley Temple. Vi-Vacious came to my rescue! She was in the show and had her own shit to be doing and she stopped and helped fix my hair along with giving me tips the whole time. I was humbled by her generosity and her kindness she had shown me. I thanked her several times and felt amazing the rest of the night because of it. I didn't think I was cool enough to be anywhere near her world and she let me. This proves that you can't just sit back and assume that everyone is a bitch, too cool, or mean. They need the chance to prove you wrong so give it to them.

Personal share time!!!

So I have been writing about me personally in my head for I this but have never actually sat down and posted the stuff I wanted too. So now I will spend time being open, honest and maybe a little emotional.

So we all know by now I am a mom...this isn't something most performers here are. Well if they do have kids they're older so it gives them their freedom back. I in the other hand have a toddler boy on my hands. This being said he is pretty awesome. He goes to rehearsals with me, shops for burly stuff with me, and even puts his make up on while I'm doing the same for a show. But it does mean I can't stay out till 6a.m. And I do have to miss out on shows and other fun stuff because he is number 1. But for the most part the girls that I am super close with all know him and don't mind the tag along when I have him, thank goodness or I'd be lonely.

The other too priority is my hubs. We all know him and he is always known as Mr. Badcock by everyone now a days. Us as a duo are unlike any other. We are both super social and flirty. In the Vegas community it seems a bit out of the norm to be who we are, but I love him and he loves me. I also get the always awkward question (for others not me) if we are in an open relationship. The overly flirts that we are wwe don't hide who we are ever. I always answer truthfully which is a big fat yes! For a while the woman he was dating was at my shows all the time and I had the two biggest fans shouting for me in the audience. The best part about answering everyone's question are all the questions after the big yes happens. Some are like "yah that's cool" and "others are all you are crazy why?" Well in all honesty we are who we are and we love to love. Does being this way have it's down falls? Well of course it does people love to have reasons to talk and hate. So I say let them talk I don't need a bunch of nasty people as friends who talk shit so I keep those who are true close and am polite to everyone else. 

Polite!  Hah this seems to be something that people mistake as being fake. I don't like being a hater. When I find myself in situations where I am being a hater in any way I try and fix that quickly. No one needs to be an ugly person it's a choice. I was asked once why I didn't hate a person and it's because I don't have room for hate. In all honesty as negative as this person is I miss them. I don't like being friends with someone I once was friends with. And it kills me that I see them at all the shows and I avoid them because their negativity got to be too much for me to handle. It makes me sad on the daily, but sometimes you have to let go of the people who bring you down with them. Still I digress, I am polite to everyone and recently I saw a post on Facebook saying "Being polite doesn't make me fake. It means I was taught manners." It's true I was taught to be polite by my little southern mama. And wanting to be a happy person in life I don't want to be nasty so I am polite. Being polite does not mean I am friends with every single person I speak with it means I am trying to show kindness.

How time flys!!!!

So it's been over a month since I have written a damn thing. So I guess this post will be a recap of fancy shit that's been going on. 

January was a CRAZY month. I hadn't talked much about it but for a few months I had been working on a group number with the entire intention to apply to BHOF Weekender. This is the biggest competition and burlesque weekend. On top of that it is held here in Vegas yearly. It's been a roller coaster of high emotions, love, and hard ass work. We did our promo photos and videoed our number. I love this number and the crazy chicks we have in it. Now we are just getting ready for performances until we get our application letter back in March.

I also had the privealage of being a Billy Club Girl in a show called Pink Tease. I have to say it was an awesome experience. I got to work with my crush Billy Boy. He hasn't been a burlesque performer for very long but he is a magnificent performer and such a freaking sweet heart. It's inspiring when you get to see the real side of someone when you are working with them. He had all of these ideas that were magnificent. He produced the first Live Burlesque in Las Vegas show of the year. and I have to say it was wonderful!!! I got to be one of his special bitches during the show that included performing with him too. He had amazing performers in his show many who we all know and one special guest I was all dumb with because she is amazing. Feeling honored about being on the stage with these beauties still and always will! 

Through working with them I was confirmed to be in the next LBLV (Live Burlesque in Las Vegas) this month too. It means a whole new number that I will have whipped up with some assistance from my lovely mentors. This was huge for me since I had thought I lost my chance to be in it since all the others I knew who were in it were vets in the community and over all amazing performers. So as of right now I am freaking out daily over making sure I don't fuck this opportunity up.

So life is filled with glitter and music!!!

Dance on bitches and be fabulous!

2013 review time bitches!!!!!!!!!

So this last year has been an interesting one for me. I spent the beginning of it traveling back and forth from Vegas to San Diego being a major geek. I also struggled with trying to figure out my marriage and it's few struggles, which I think I figured out finally. Then came my burlesque Mama and her lovely smiling face that convinced me that taking the intensive would be right for me. When starting the classes I was struggling with my fat and had a decreased value of my personal value. I also met some of the most beautiful faces I now call friends.  I'd have to say that with all the personal struggles I might have had this last year was a good one.

I've never looked at a year through pros and cons before so here we go

PROS
1. Another year with my adorable lil boo
2. My man and I are still strong
3. BURLESQUE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!
4. I now have female friends
5. I have gained an awesome and wise support group
6. This has been the year of family for me and I am so grateful to still have my mom as a big supporter
7. I gained my self esteem back
8. I stood up for myself when in the past I would never have done it
9. I learned I may get my BFF back within a short driving distance again


CONS
1. It was the year of fighting between me and hubs, passionately that always lead to weeks of exhaustion
2. I lost a friend
3. I have eaten so much good food I've gained more weight then I would have liked....well I'm not sure if this is a pro or con.

So 2014 is going to be the year of focus on my performance ability, making sure I balance my home and drag life a little better, learn to fucking sew, spend more time with my mom, and it needs to be the year of making shit happen!!!!!!

Song update!!!!!!

So pretend you are listening to bad horn music coming from me.

I heard back from one of the girls I sent a message to over a song I want to use!!!!!!! Yay being polite is not a lost cause. At first I was thinking that I would only tell you from my own words how it went down. But Now i have going to give you the conversation instead cause I was way too happy to see her answer. Now I won't give you what I said because you would know what the surprise number is to be and until I am ready to reveal it not even you lovelies can know about it.

"Thank you for asking. Too many times people just take a song or an idea without even looking into who else might already be working with it. Feel free and if you record it I would love to see it! My act was from the perspective of the girl in the well so it sounds like a whole new approach.

Good luck!"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....this was so fucking exciting to see pop up in my Facebook message box. This shows you all that if you spend a little time researching you can make sure you aren't "stealing" and gain a little respect from reaching out as well. Woo Fucking Hoo!!!!!!

Doing the troupe thing!!!!!

So I know I have only been in the scene for a short period of time but I have started working on a troupe number with a friend of mine. She is a newer friend since I just got to work with her for the first time back in October and since then we have hit it off big time. She is a great person to chit chat with and has wise words for me from time to time when I need them as well. The same number I worked on with her a few months ago we decided to try and make a larger number out of, add an extra minute, and then apply to BHOF weekend 2014. If you don't have a clue what this is it is the benefit weekend to support the BOHF(Burlesque Hall of Fame) Museum. They hold the biggest competition ever and holds Miss Exotic World the longest running burlesque solo performer competition. So if they get enough group numbers into the competition night then you get to actually compete. My friends number is awesome and we ended up tweaking it together in the end. So I said why not we should do this and we began the process.

So as noobs to the world of getting a group number into a competition we are taking this very seriously. We held an audition to fill some of the spots we had. Set our rehearsals for weekly 2 hours and take no excuses, unless you are sick of course. We even made everyone sign contracts so we saw that people were serious about being a part of this vision we have. Now we have 7 girls and an alternate who have been taught the entire number and we are prepping for costumes, photos and soon a video.  This shit is no fucking joke peeps!

The BHOF competition is no joke either, It is held here in Sin City every year and has been for over a decade now. What I find weird is that not a lot of Vegas performers have gotten into the competition. So finding out what to do was a solo thing I did and decided that we were to be determined to get in this year. We started three weeks ago and have to have our video in by the 27th of January along with videos...HOLY SHIT!!!!! I am not gonna lie this is the biggest thing I have ever tried to be a part of and I am super fucking excited. I am not gonna lie I am a little bit scared a swell.

The one major thing that makes me the happiest is that We ended up wit ha great group of ladies. The one major thing I wanted to see done was several body types being represented so we had a great spectrum of people on stage. It doesn't hurt that all of these ladies are super positive and make our early mornings good ones, even if some of us have hangovers from the burly night before.  They have all help me grow a little in this short time we have been together so far. I am looking forward to growing with all of them and learning some more.

I feel very privileged to be a part of this group and the vision we have going.