I realize it has been months since I have said a word on here. And in all honesty my life blew up. For a while it was a great explosion of choreography, hanging with glittery peeps so I didn't have time to sit and type. As of the last three months though it has been stressful and heart breaking.
This was the year of education but it needed to come to a screeching hault when. My father in-law passed away. He passed on September 18th, 2014. He was one of my favorite people. He was kind, loving, a proud papa, and was my constant reminder of what life was like in the 50s and 60s. His mentality never changed over the decades and neither did most of his habits. He was a healthy 72 year old man who had a massive heart attack in his home in Canada. I spent many days crying and grieving with my husband while trying to get passports, flights, and constantly speaking with grieving family members to arrange our time to fly out and say our final good byes. I ended up missing out on Burlycon but don't regret seeing my family and visiting where my husbands family has lived most of their lives. I also dropped quickly from the sight of my local community in order to handle my shit and focus.
Once again my community surprises me. I received many texts, messages, and comments making sure I was okay and just simply checking in. In a way it shouldn't surprise me but I have grown up never depending on more then a handful of people, because everyone else just made things worse. Being part of a group where they actually care made things a little easier for me to handle through my daily break downs.
After coming home form Canada though my car took a giant shit and fell apart, and we needed to move my old people in with us. So daily panic attacks began while packing, trying not to die from dust inhilation or killing my personal family members. Because of this half I missed out on the Las Vegas Burlesque Festival and had to drop off as a team member for that time as well :-( personally I couldn't even think about my glittery life while my muggle life was being flipped upside down. I just reminded myself what my mentor has always told me "Burlesque is a hobby and should be for fun." Though we all know it's more then just a hobby it is a good reminder that it is okay to take a break when needed in order to handle your own life. It kept me from feeling guilty for being so quiet at the time.
So I have missed my own cities festival, couldn't go to a dear friends wedding, or perform in my first out of state festival either. Right now I feel like after three months I have missed out on an entire years worth of glitter life. I'm still not a hundred percent feeling normal, but I am slowly creeping back into my glitter life by making time to see a few of the people I love, refocusing on my health, and putting my self back I together again. Before long I will be back in a smokey bar screaming my ass off and soon after performing again.
There wasn't much of a burly point to this but I figured an explanation maybe necessary and this was easier then explaining over and over again.
This was the year of education but it needed to come to a screeching hault when. My father in-law passed away. He passed on September 18th, 2014. He was one of my favorite people. He was kind, loving, a proud papa, and was my constant reminder of what life was like in the 50s and 60s. His mentality never changed over the decades and neither did most of his habits. He was a healthy 72 year old man who had a massive heart attack in his home in Canada. I spent many days crying and grieving with my husband while trying to get passports, flights, and constantly speaking with grieving family members to arrange our time to fly out and say our final good byes. I ended up missing out on Burlycon but don't regret seeing my family and visiting where my husbands family has lived most of their lives. I also dropped quickly from the sight of my local community in order to handle my shit and focus.
Once again my community surprises me. I received many texts, messages, and comments making sure I was okay and just simply checking in. In a way it shouldn't surprise me but I have grown up never depending on more then a handful of people, because everyone else just made things worse. Being part of a group where they actually care made things a little easier for me to handle through my daily break downs.
After coming home form Canada though my car took a giant shit and fell apart, and we needed to move my old people in with us. So daily panic attacks began while packing, trying not to die from dust inhilation or killing my personal family members. Because of this half I missed out on the Las Vegas Burlesque Festival and had to drop off as a team member for that time as well :-( personally I couldn't even think about my glittery life while my muggle life was being flipped upside down. I just reminded myself what my mentor has always told me "Burlesque is a hobby and should be for fun." Though we all know it's more then just a hobby it is a good reminder that it is okay to take a break when needed in order to handle your own life. It kept me from feeling guilty for being so quiet at the time.
So I have missed my own cities festival, couldn't go to a dear friends wedding, or perform in my first out of state festival either. Right now I feel like after three months I have missed out on an entire years worth of glitter life. I'm still not a hundred percent feeling normal, but I am slowly creeping back into my glitter life by making time to see a few of the people I love, refocusing on my health, and putting my self back I together again. Before long I will be back in a smokey bar screaming my ass off and soon after performing again.
There wasn't much of a burly point to this but I figured an explanation maybe necessary and this was easier then explaining over and over again.
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